From Yesterday's City News.

Fortress plan to stem population as southerners keep on coming

The State Government will erect “car park full” signs in South East Queensland to convince interstate migrants to keep driving rather than settle in major urban growth centers. Environment minister Desley Boiled said the Government would also mess about with road signs so people heading for Brisbane would actually end up at Crows Nest.

She said her message to people crossing the border would be “Welcome to Queensland, now Piss Off”. Brisbane City Council will do it s bit by extending the Lang Park parking zone 200km in each direction. Under the plan, people will not be allowed to stop anywhere for more than five minutes, forcing them to drive to at least Maryborough before they can leave their car long enough to find accommodation.

“it is very important at this stage of our development that we make interstate visitors fell as unwelcome as possible,” Ms Boiled said. “As well as giving them tickets and towing their cars away, ordinary South East Queenslanders will be encouraged to give incoming people unfriendly stares and not invite them to barbecues.” Locals will also be trained to give interstate migrants particularly bad directions so potential new residents become confused and disorientated. The training will not be necessary in rural areas where directions already keep people lost for days.

The Government is considering putting the gates at the border and issuing special visas for interstate migrants. “This should deter the lazy no-hopers from crossing the border and using up our valuable sunlight,” Ms Boiled said. “It should also help the fruit industry, with a ready stream of illegal interstate migrants prepared to work cheap if the don’t get dobbed into the police.” Ms Boiled said the Government had to take serious steps to allow it to ban all future development and still find homes for another million people. She said it was “dumb ditty dumb ditty dumb dumb dumb” for so many people to settle in South East Queensland when there were so many other towns. “When I fly around the state and look out the window, there appears to be towns all over the place – some apparently containing people,” she said. “There are simply not enough services in South East Queensland for all these new arrivals. I would like these interstate migrants to move to country towns where, of course, there are no services at all.” To curb the people-flow, all beaches, rainforests and bikini models will be removed from state promotional material and replaced withpuctures of mud flats, rubbish tips and Premier Peter Beatup.

Under the plan, newly-arrived interstate migrants will be held in special desert detention centers for six months where they will listen to endless tapes of Phillip Ruddock explaining the Queensland migration policy. During that time, they will be expected to learn the local language and memorize the names of at least seven Broncos.

Source: City News, issue 62, Pg.18 - Brisbane
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jt

lol

http://www.thecouriermail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,11054235%255E3102,00.html

Here's another (legitimate) article about the policy from the Courier Mail.

All the more people for Townsville! :banana:

Reads as if it was written by The Chaser.

Weird. We are supposed to be the Sunshine and Friendly state. Now we're telling people to piss off. Quite Weird, especially as Desley Boyle has prompted tourism in Cairns and Port Douglas.

lol. That's exactly what she really meant

how stupid.

Clearly just make everything denser. God damn fool woman.

and Blend volunteers to pay for all the new freeways, railways, sewerage, dams, eletricity that we need to keep everything ticking.

with more ppl = more tax $$

thats how it works.

South East Queensland is at capacity?

My fücken arse it is :lol:

Within the same area of this S.E. Queensland thingie in my part of the world there are more people than all of Australia.

L.A. has around 16million people, and it's basically built in the desert.

Brisbane is built in a furtile region, and can easily support a higher population. Australia isn't the Soviet fücken Union. If people want to move to S.E. queesnland, then that's the way it should happen.

Desley Boyle should be shot, burnt at the stake and then shot again. Stupid Hippie wants to turn SEQ into Soviet Russia 2. I can't believe that citynews was a real news article btw :P.

To think someone is against urban development and bringing big corporations to SEQ. It's people like these, and the trasport minister + BCC that really keep Brisbane the way it is. Why is everyone in chage so hell-bent on setting Brisbane back 50 years?

My advice for her is to get off the wacky tabackey and get a haircut.

Oi, that's the stupidest idea ever. All it would do is increase the sprawl. The Warrego would need to be upgraded to a Freeway. The Bruce Highway would need to be atleast 8 lanes to Nambour, 6 lanes all the way to and around Gympie and 4 lanes to Marybrough. Connections into Warick, Boonah and Beaudesert would all need to be upgraded. The M1 would need to be upgraded to atleast 6 lanes all the way to the border.

If we could pay for it all without going too far into debt, I wouldn't mind some sprawl. But I think she's taking it a bit too far. She wants to turn Cairns, Townsville, Proserpine, Mackay, Rockhampton, Bundaberg, Hervey Bay, Gladstone and Marybrough into really big cities. Those cities will need their own freeways.

If sprawl starts occuring across Qld Regional Towns and Cities, maybe Queensland will be the first state to realise what a waste of resources urban sprawl really is and how much the state has actually been subsidising sprawl...

with more ppl = more tax $$

thats how it works.

of course these taxes are paid after the people move in. Ideally the infrastructure should be built before the people move in. Also SEQ is currently growing at roughly the same number of people per year as Sydney. Our tax base must obviously be much much less than Sydney. If Sydney is having trouble coping with the growth, doesn't that suggest that certain difficulties are on the way for SEQ as well?

Not that I agree that we should shut SEQ down for growth. But I can kind of see where she is coming from wanting to do that.

i'm dismayed by government officials mouthing off about population growth - how can they not see that it is a good thing, it must really chafe the premiers of SA and Tas when they hear Carr complain that too many people are moving to Sydney, Jesus man appreciate what you've got, sustainable development. For a start it's not as if Australia's immigration laws are easy, you have to be skilled to move here, Also no city is going to break under the pressure of huge population growth - name me one city that has...

It's like One Nation, but now they hate white people!