...do you guys feel less Pakistani as you get older?

I'm 28 now. When I was younger, I had a big thing for Pakistan. But as I mature, it seems to represent a smaller and smaller part of my being. I am proud of my roots, but increasingly feel I differ from 'proper' Pakistanis in outlook, language, politics etc.

Is this common for people born/raised in the UK/US/elsewhere, to gradually gravitate away from the land of your forefathers and closer to the land you yourself grew up and live?

I do visit Pakistan, but often times - despite material progress - one feels stronger in the conviction that Pakistan is to me, something far back in my family lineage, and not core to my current being.

These issues are troubling me atm. Any insights?

I think its called being confused! :P Where are you from btw?

I would disagree intoxicated. I guess that a particular feeling, such as this, could be attributed to the fact each everyone has a certain 'construct' (a personal reality encompassing all sorts of things including Pakistan, cultural norms, values, traditions etc), which starts forming in early years of life and continues to evolve. However, when he left the country that evolution process stops and stays stuck in that time. In his case, if he wasn't born in Pakistan, the construct would have been through his parents or Pakistanis he may have encountered.

Lets say, he visits Pakistan very infrequently or for relatively brief periods of time that is not sufficient for that construct evolution to take place, when he does. The internal conflicts rise more and more when one tries to update the old notions with new ones, which may contradict the previous construct gradually.

He mentioned that "when I was younger, he had a big thing for Pakistan", which was probably linked to the old construct, which may not be completely valid. Hence the feeling of ever decreasing association with Pakistan. Pakistan I know ye not.

I seem to be stuck in 1998, when I left Pakistan. However, I still have a big thing for Pakistan despite its ever burgeoning flaws.

P.S. May be I am equally confused but I am starving right now and maybe I should try to make methi aloo tonite. So no more discursive ramblings. :)

P.S. P.S. intoxicated wasn't your previous screen name Trapped...

...do you guys feel less Pakistani as you get older?

....

These issues are troubling me atm. Any insights?


Its called "First World Problems".

Btw, dont worry...there's nothing wrong in the way you're feeling. As kids, everything is a big event because life is all about joys and no worries. There are few responsibilities and we hardly care about any consequences of our actions. As we get older, we have more responsibilities and life gets a lot more busier is different ways that can have real consequences. Moreover, older memories fade and go the background only to surface from time to time. You current memories are fresh and occupy most of your visual flashes.

Therefore, what you're experiencing is only natural.

^^ Ye cheez!

I would disagree intoxicated. I guess that a particular feeling, such as this, could be attributed to the fact each everyone has a certain 'construct' (a personal reality encompassing all sorts of things including Pakistan, cultural norms, values, traditions etc), which starts forming in early years of life and continues to evolve. However, when he left the country that evolution process stops and stays stuck in that time. In his case, if he wasn't born in Pakistan, the construct would have been through his parents or Pakistanis he may have encountered.

Lets say, he visits Pakistan very infrequently or for relatively brief periods of time that is not sufficient for that construct evolution to take place, when he does. The internal conflicts rise more and more when one tries to update the old notions with new ones, which may contradict the previous construct gradually.

He mentioned that "when I was younger, he had a big thing for Pakistan", which was probably linked to the old construct, which may not be completely valid. Hence the feeling of ever decreasing association with Pakistan. Pakistan I know ye not.

I seem to be stuck in 1998, when I left Pakistan. However, I still have a big thing for Pakistan despite its ever burgeoning flaws.

P.S. May be I am equally confused but I am starving right now and maybe I should try to make methi aloo tonite. So no more discursive ramblings. :)

P.S. P.S. intoxicated wasn't your previous screen name Trapped...

Abay O! Dil pe kyun leta hai bhai?!

As to where am I from, UK born and raised.

I was born in Pakistan and lived here all my life and yet I feel disconnected from current society norms. I'm not patriotic, I would care less if Pakistan went back to India (If there is no violence with the package). I see humans as a single specie and sometimes envision world without borders and all races living together in harmony, but for that Humans needs to grow up, especially if they are to build inter planetary society.
Call me insane, but I call myself an earthling, I am a fruit of this earth, not some lines drawn by other humans.
My favorite quote: To me, it seems a dreadful indignity to have a soul controlled by geography. ~George Santayana

I was born here and grew up here, and I am very different from most Pakistanis. But I have had a very, very good life growing up. So I love Pakistan. There is no question of me ever feeling not connected to Pakistan.

And yes, not feeling as connected to a place is natural when you're away from it from a young age and then that time stretches to 10+ years since you lived in your old country.

I was born in the Middle East moved to Pakistan when i was 10 and came to the U.S for college at 19. Since then ive been here. My parents live in Pakistana nd so does my brother....when i was in college till i graduated i would go back for full throttle 3 mths and come back only when school was about to start. my A levels in pakistan i consider the GOLDEN years of my life and those summers during freshman, sophmore, and junior years were just AMAZING.....but like Haji Turno said im stuck in the time of pakistan when i left in 2003 August after my A levels....not 2006 August the last time i was there....and Allah knows man those were the times....we my buds would be out on the roads all night ...there was security and there was progress all around good old mushy...but anyways coming back to the topic now its been 6 years since ive been back and i do feel a disconnect....when i was in college people used to ask did you get the """culture shock"""" when you went back...i used to discard that as foolish and stupid as if there is no such thing as culture shock....i go back as soon as i land screw the jet lack spend time with family for an hour catchup and then immediately head out with my good old buds for choleee pooori......but now i have come to know what culture shock is as when i imagine landing there now for the first 3 or 5 days my body and mindset will take time to adjust....body to for sure with loose pakhana HAHAHHAHA....but like our wise freind here brightside says i had the BEST time of my life growing up in my beloved pakistan and hence i will look back at those days as the Golden days of my life....and am sure afdter the first week will be back to my desi self that i was ....Pakistan is in my blood. :cheers:

^

But is that true for those of us born and raised OUTSIDE of Pakistan?

Those of you born outside Pakistan should come to work in Pakistan once you've got 5-10 years of experience. You'll get good jobs in Pakistan, and you'll live like kings and queens. You'll definitely love the lifestyle of a Pakistani upper-middleclass citizen. Without living in Pakistan for a significant amount of time, you cannot be a true Pakistani.

Really?

I quite like being a Brit.

Chips, beer, p*rno on tap?

:D

You can quite easily get beer, chips and porn in Pakistan as well. Actually, you can get pretty much everything you need. Over in Pakistan, we never have to make our own bed, clean our own house, do our own dishes, clean our own car, mow our own lawn, iron our own clothes, cook our own food...there's cheap servants for everything! But I'm sure you already know that ;)

Plus, unlike Britain, you won't have to live in a tiny apartment or townhouse, you can live in a nice big 5 bedroom house for the cost of a tiny UK apartment. And at least in Karachi, the power doesn't go out in the richer areas anymore so that problem's also sorted.

I'm sure the UK is a nice place and all that, but at least I get bored of living in one place for more than a few years. I like living in different places every few years. You should try something different too, try Pakistan ;)

Dude, I have been to Pk. We have 2 nice, big houses out there (1 huge one) - but I dont think I could live long term in Pk. Too hot.