Lostboy
April 4th, 2005, 07:37 PM
School blamed suicide girl who was victim of bullies
By Lewis Smith
Yvonne Rhodes clasps a photograph of her daughter Laura (Photo: Ben Gurr)
THE parents of a girl who killed herself after being bullied may sue her school after learning that a member of staff said that their daughter “must accept the blame” for being victimised.
Mike and Yvonne Rhodes have consulted lawyers about legal action after being handed school records showing that staff held their daughter, Laura, 13, responsible for being bullied.
The couple said that they were astonished and angered at the response of the school, Cefn Saeson, in South Wales, to their daughter’s death.
Social workers have also expressed outrage at the insensitivity of some staff and their failure to tackle persistent bullying.
Laura Rhodes, of Neath, died last year in a suicide pact with Rebecca Ling, 14, a friend she had met through an internet chat room. Rebecca, from Birmingham, survived after telling Mrs Rhodes that the two of them had taken an overdose of prescription pills. Laura died in hospital a few hours later.
Since the death of their daughter, Mr and Mrs Rhodes have been trying to find out to what extent the school authorities accept that they were responsible for failing to prevent her from being bullied.
In papers obtained by the family and seen by The Times, Laura’s progress at Cefn Saeson and comments about the bullying are charted in detail. They reveal that Laura was regarded as being the author of her own misfortune and that the school authorities felt that the bullying allegations were best dealt with by exiling her to a pupil referral unit.
Her parents said they were furious at the way she was treated and a “blame the victim” attitude from authorities that sent out the wrong message to bullies.
When Laura left primary school she was a happy child who thrived in class but by the end of her first day at Cefn Saeson secondary school in Cimla, Neath, she was already complaining of being bullied. Instead of taking every measure to stamp out the bullying, her parents said, the school had within three weeks decided that the problem lay with her and had requested a psychiatric assessment.
During the first term she befriended another girl and sent her affectionate messages. They were interpreted wrongly, Laura said later, as declarations of lesbian love and she was branded the “school dyke”.
After this Laura was held responsible for further outbreaks of abuse. Helen Langford, the education welfare officer, wrote: “Name calling will take a while to stop because of Laura’s verbal indiscretion. Laura fully realises and appreciates she must accept the blame for the current situation.”
By the end of the first year Laura was told to attend the Bryncoch pupil-referral unit instead of Cefn Saeson.
The head of Cefn Saeson, Alun Griffiths, later suggested that Laura was merely the subject of schoolgirl “squabbling”, yet a written record of a meeting to discuss her background states: “Mrs Langford outlined the difficulties Laura had to face at school. She explained that she had suffered some very nasty forms of verbal bullying.”
Mr Rhodes said that his daughter was happier at the referral unit because she could go there knowing that she would not be bullied. Yet at the same time she despaired of her future, realising that three hours’ teaching a day would not prepare her for GCSEs.
Angered by the school attaching blame to Laura, Mr Rhodes said: “It’s the injustice of it. How can they get away with doing this to children? How many more children will die because of schools not dealing with bullying?” Mr Griffiths maintains that his staff did all they could to help Laura, often in the face of her refusal to report bullying immediately or to name the protagonists.
Her parents are equally convinced that some of the measures taken were inappropriate. They cite one lunchtime when Laura was asked to point out in the dining hall, in full view of other pupils, who had been picking on her.
A report by the referral unit noted her reaction to a “circle time” exercise held at the secondary school. It meant Laura being put in the middle of a ring of pupils to talk about her problems. The report stated: “This was not successful as Laura felt it didn’t help to be with the people who had been horrible to her.”
Mr Rhodes said: “If you sue somebody then obviously money is involved but it’s got nothing to do with money or revenge. The best that can come out is to help somebody else.”
Delwyn Tattum, director of the Countering Bullying Unit at the University of Wales Institute Cardiff, said that the family was right to be concerned about Laura’s treatment. After seeing the documents, he said of the school blaming Laura for being bullied: “It’s most unacceptable. It’s blaming the victim for the bullies’ behaviour.”
The school refused to comment in detail about the bullying claims until after the inquest next month but was praised last year by school inspectors for “outstanding” standards of pupil welfare, including bullying.
Laura’s parents will talk further about their experiences on BBC’s Panorama on Sunday.
'I wasn't too stubborn to ask for help. I did ask, but they did not pay attention'
Laura Rhodes wrote a poignant letter describing her torment at the hands of bullies shortly before committing suicide. Laura’s parents have decided to make the 1,250-word letter public in the hope that it might help other bullied children.
“There we were, outside the school, people looking at this fat lump which is myself but oh well. ‘Bye Dad, see you tonight.’ I did not want to leave the car, I wanted to die. I walked to the doors, down the corridor, here are boys standing just before the stairs, legs out, waiting to trip me up, how wonderful.
“I hated it so much. I used to talk to myself in my head, only thing that kept me OK to live. Why were they doing this? Why me? I was fat. Still a person. It had gone on for six months now, same thing every day. I saw some boys laughing at the fact I was fat and possibly a ‘dyke’. I wanted to cry so much but I couldn’t. I had on Friday, I can’t again. At last! Here Mrs Stephens comes: ‘Morning 7c, nice weekend?’ I felt like saying ‘Oh yes, it was wonderful. I cried all the time. How was yours?’ “But no one cared anyway, so what was the point? Yes, I have told my parents. They thought I just didn’t like going to school. Anyone else heard that one? So great, no one believed me while I got fatter and fatter and sadder and sadder. Everyone got meaner and meaner.
“I was standing clutching my bag, holding myself together as if to let go of this bag would be to let go of any pride, or anything I had left. I wasn’t too stubborn to ask for help. I did ask, but they did not pay any attention.
“AT LAST! The final run, HOME. I rush down the road, holding the tears back. ‘Hiya, how was school?’ ‘Fine’ I replied. Didn’t seem any point in saying anything else, did there? They didn’t listen. ‘I’m going to the loo.’ I didn’t enter the bathroom. I went into the box room, I took out scissors, I knew what I was doing. Maybe this would show them what they are doing.
“I dragged it over my wrists a few times, the next few times pressing harder, it felt really good. It hurt, but I pressed harder. S***, there was a mark, a deep red one, what can I do?”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,170-1554152_1,00.html
By Lewis Smith
Yvonne Rhodes clasps a photograph of her daughter Laura (Photo: Ben Gurr)
THE parents of a girl who killed herself after being bullied may sue her school after learning that a member of staff said that their daughter “must accept the blame” for being victimised.
Mike and Yvonne Rhodes have consulted lawyers about legal action after being handed school records showing that staff held their daughter, Laura, 13, responsible for being bullied.
The couple said that they were astonished and angered at the response of the school, Cefn Saeson, in South Wales, to their daughter’s death.
Social workers have also expressed outrage at the insensitivity of some staff and their failure to tackle persistent bullying.
Laura Rhodes, of Neath, died last year in a suicide pact with Rebecca Ling, 14, a friend she had met through an internet chat room. Rebecca, from Birmingham, survived after telling Mrs Rhodes that the two of them had taken an overdose of prescription pills. Laura died in hospital a few hours later.
Since the death of their daughter, Mr and Mrs Rhodes have been trying to find out to what extent the school authorities accept that they were responsible for failing to prevent her from being bullied.
In papers obtained by the family and seen by The Times, Laura’s progress at Cefn Saeson and comments about the bullying are charted in detail. They reveal that Laura was regarded as being the author of her own misfortune and that the school authorities felt that the bullying allegations were best dealt with by exiling her to a pupil referral unit.
Her parents said they were furious at the way she was treated and a “blame the victim” attitude from authorities that sent out the wrong message to bullies.
When Laura left primary school she was a happy child who thrived in class but by the end of her first day at Cefn Saeson secondary school in Cimla, Neath, she was already complaining of being bullied. Instead of taking every measure to stamp out the bullying, her parents said, the school had within three weeks decided that the problem lay with her and had requested a psychiatric assessment.
During the first term she befriended another girl and sent her affectionate messages. They were interpreted wrongly, Laura said later, as declarations of lesbian love and she was branded the “school dyke”.
After this Laura was held responsible for further outbreaks of abuse. Helen Langford, the education welfare officer, wrote: “Name calling will take a while to stop because of Laura’s verbal indiscretion. Laura fully realises and appreciates she must accept the blame for the current situation.”
By the end of the first year Laura was told to attend the Bryncoch pupil-referral unit instead of Cefn Saeson.
The head of Cefn Saeson, Alun Griffiths, later suggested that Laura was merely the subject of schoolgirl “squabbling”, yet a written record of a meeting to discuss her background states: “Mrs Langford outlined the difficulties Laura had to face at school. She explained that she had suffered some very nasty forms of verbal bullying.”
Mr Rhodes said that his daughter was happier at the referral unit because she could go there knowing that she would not be bullied. Yet at the same time she despaired of her future, realising that three hours’ teaching a day would not prepare her for GCSEs.
Angered by the school attaching blame to Laura, Mr Rhodes said: “It’s the injustice of it. How can they get away with doing this to children? How many more children will die because of schools not dealing with bullying?” Mr Griffiths maintains that his staff did all they could to help Laura, often in the face of her refusal to report bullying immediately or to name the protagonists.
Her parents are equally convinced that some of the measures taken were inappropriate. They cite one lunchtime when Laura was asked to point out in the dining hall, in full view of other pupils, who had been picking on her.
A report by the referral unit noted her reaction to a “circle time” exercise held at the secondary school. It meant Laura being put in the middle of a ring of pupils to talk about her problems. The report stated: “This was not successful as Laura felt it didn’t help to be with the people who had been horrible to her.”
Mr Rhodes said: “If you sue somebody then obviously money is involved but it’s got nothing to do with money or revenge. The best that can come out is to help somebody else.”
Delwyn Tattum, director of the Countering Bullying Unit at the University of Wales Institute Cardiff, said that the family was right to be concerned about Laura’s treatment. After seeing the documents, he said of the school blaming Laura for being bullied: “It’s most unacceptable. It’s blaming the victim for the bullies’ behaviour.”
The school refused to comment in detail about the bullying claims until after the inquest next month but was praised last year by school inspectors for “outstanding” standards of pupil welfare, including bullying.
Laura’s parents will talk further about their experiences on BBC’s Panorama on Sunday.
'I wasn't too stubborn to ask for help. I did ask, but they did not pay attention'
Laura Rhodes wrote a poignant letter describing her torment at the hands of bullies shortly before committing suicide. Laura’s parents have decided to make the 1,250-word letter public in the hope that it might help other bullied children.
“There we were, outside the school, people looking at this fat lump which is myself but oh well. ‘Bye Dad, see you tonight.’ I did not want to leave the car, I wanted to die. I walked to the doors, down the corridor, here are boys standing just before the stairs, legs out, waiting to trip me up, how wonderful.
“I hated it so much. I used to talk to myself in my head, only thing that kept me OK to live. Why were they doing this? Why me? I was fat. Still a person. It had gone on for six months now, same thing every day. I saw some boys laughing at the fact I was fat and possibly a ‘dyke’. I wanted to cry so much but I couldn’t. I had on Friday, I can’t again. At last! Here Mrs Stephens comes: ‘Morning 7c, nice weekend?’ I felt like saying ‘Oh yes, it was wonderful. I cried all the time. How was yours?’ “But no one cared anyway, so what was the point? Yes, I have told my parents. They thought I just didn’t like going to school. Anyone else heard that one? So great, no one believed me while I got fatter and fatter and sadder and sadder. Everyone got meaner and meaner.
“I was standing clutching my bag, holding myself together as if to let go of this bag would be to let go of any pride, or anything I had left. I wasn’t too stubborn to ask for help. I did ask, but they did not pay any attention.
“AT LAST! The final run, HOME. I rush down the road, holding the tears back. ‘Hiya, how was school?’ ‘Fine’ I replied. Didn’t seem any point in saying anything else, did there? They didn’t listen. ‘I’m going to the loo.’ I didn’t enter the bathroom. I went into the box room, I took out scissors, I knew what I was doing. Maybe this would show them what they are doing.
“I dragged it over my wrists a few times, the next few times pressing harder, it felt really good. It hurt, but I pressed harder. S***, there was a mark, a deep red one, what can I do?”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,170-1554152_1,00.html