rt_0891
July 23rd, 2005, 12:16 AM
Canadian Tire couple worrying :lol:
Edmonton Sun
By Lyn Cockburn
I'm worried about that Canadian Tire couple. You know the ones - they get on our TVs at least five times per evening, sometimes in the middle of sports events, hawking various Canadian Tire products.
He's tall and slimmish with fashionably grey hair - not so handsome he's a threat to men and not so ugly he'd make women retch. He's your OK guy. She's average-looking, not so thin that women will hate her, and not so plump that men will make rude remarks. She's OK.
Then there's the son. I don't like him. He's a whiner and a bit of a brat. He reminds me of a younger Jack Osbourne. In fact, the whole shtick reminds me of a tamely polite Canadian version of The Osbournes.
I only wish he or the wife would scream "I love you all dearly but you're driving me $%#&&&# mad."
As it is, the husband merely assures the brat (I think his name is Bobby) that he'll get the entertainment centre (which of course he bought at Canadian Tire) together using the Quick Flip 11 piece drill set at $39.99 in time for said brat's friends to come over so they can all watch Trailer Park Boys without parental supervision.
These people know a bargain when they see one, but what bothers me is that they are obsessive in their buying patterns. They buy every toy available. They may not be the benign Canadian family they seem to be at first glance.
For example, for camping they've already bought a Dome Tent that doesn't require poles ($139.99), and triple duty pumps that will inflate air beds and soccer balls in the blink of a mosquito's eye.
Not to mention the generator (they had one from before but it wasn't very portable so they bought a new one) so mom and dad can watch flicks while camping. They ought to be zipped up in the Dome Tent making love to rejuvenate their marriage, which is obviously crumbling under the stress of bringing up the mouthy brat - who, thanks to said generator, can now play his violent video games instead of swimming in the lake to work off a bit of that pudge.
Then there's gardening. The two of them are always outside with some gadget or other they've just bought and which makes the next-door neighbour drool with envy. I don't like the next-door neighbour either. It seems to me he's kind of snoopy.
Anyway, a quick toting up of their purchases so far this summer puts them in hock to Canadian Tire for somewhere around $3,000 - all bargains, and all useful, mind you. But this couple never goes to work. They never discipline their son, either. Nor do they ever make him wash the car with the brand new $299.99 super duper Simoniz S2000 gas powered pressure washer, which also cleans decks, patios and driveways.
No wonder the kid is a brat. He has no role models to look up to. His parents are too busy buying stuff and showing it off to bother holding down jobs, disciplining him or setting him a good example.
If that father and/or mother don't get jobs soon, they'll miss a bunch of mortgage payments on that fancy house and they'll find themselves out on the street surrounded by their fancy gadgets.
A fine example that'll be for the brat.
However, I suspect the real reason they don't have jobs, yet have all those bucks for their addiction to toys is that they both work at home.
But at what? Is it possible that when he's not showing off to the weird neighbour, he's writing wildly lucrative potboiler novels with lots of steamy sex? Is he secretly the Danielle Steel of Canada?
They seem to have a lot of property around their big, fancy house. Perhaps it's being put to good use. I saw a program on TV the other night (which was uninterrupted by any Canadian Tire ads) on raising llamas, which are evidently quite cuddly, very woolly, very profitable and easy to raise - yes, right here in Canada. Watch for llamas in the background the next time you see one of the ads.
Could it be that this couple is living off ill-gotten gains? Do they perhaps have a grow-op in the basement? Surely not. But just in case, perhaps the local electricity company should check up on their electrical consumption.
I'm sure there's a simple explanation, but it might be an idea for Canadian Tire to announce their occupation - especially if it's llamas. Viewers are interested in that sort of thing.
Edmonton Sun
By Lyn Cockburn
I'm worried about that Canadian Tire couple. You know the ones - they get on our TVs at least five times per evening, sometimes in the middle of sports events, hawking various Canadian Tire products.
He's tall and slimmish with fashionably grey hair - not so handsome he's a threat to men and not so ugly he'd make women retch. He's your OK guy. She's average-looking, not so thin that women will hate her, and not so plump that men will make rude remarks. She's OK.
Then there's the son. I don't like him. He's a whiner and a bit of a brat. He reminds me of a younger Jack Osbourne. In fact, the whole shtick reminds me of a tamely polite Canadian version of The Osbournes.
I only wish he or the wife would scream "I love you all dearly but you're driving me $%#&&&# mad."
As it is, the husband merely assures the brat (I think his name is Bobby) that he'll get the entertainment centre (which of course he bought at Canadian Tire) together using the Quick Flip 11 piece drill set at $39.99 in time for said brat's friends to come over so they can all watch Trailer Park Boys without parental supervision.
These people know a bargain when they see one, but what bothers me is that they are obsessive in their buying patterns. They buy every toy available. They may not be the benign Canadian family they seem to be at first glance.
For example, for camping they've already bought a Dome Tent that doesn't require poles ($139.99), and triple duty pumps that will inflate air beds and soccer balls in the blink of a mosquito's eye.
Not to mention the generator (they had one from before but it wasn't very portable so they bought a new one) so mom and dad can watch flicks while camping. They ought to be zipped up in the Dome Tent making love to rejuvenate their marriage, which is obviously crumbling under the stress of bringing up the mouthy brat - who, thanks to said generator, can now play his violent video games instead of swimming in the lake to work off a bit of that pudge.
Then there's gardening. The two of them are always outside with some gadget or other they've just bought and which makes the next-door neighbour drool with envy. I don't like the next-door neighbour either. It seems to me he's kind of snoopy.
Anyway, a quick toting up of their purchases so far this summer puts them in hock to Canadian Tire for somewhere around $3,000 - all bargains, and all useful, mind you. But this couple never goes to work. They never discipline their son, either. Nor do they ever make him wash the car with the brand new $299.99 super duper Simoniz S2000 gas powered pressure washer, which also cleans decks, patios and driveways.
No wonder the kid is a brat. He has no role models to look up to. His parents are too busy buying stuff and showing it off to bother holding down jobs, disciplining him or setting him a good example.
If that father and/or mother don't get jobs soon, they'll miss a bunch of mortgage payments on that fancy house and they'll find themselves out on the street surrounded by their fancy gadgets.
A fine example that'll be for the brat.
However, I suspect the real reason they don't have jobs, yet have all those bucks for their addiction to toys is that they both work at home.
But at what? Is it possible that when he's not showing off to the weird neighbour, he's writing wildly lucrative potboiler novels with lots of steamy sex? Is he secretly the Danielle Steel of Canada?
They seem to have a lot of property around their big, fancy house. Perhaps it's being put to good use. I saw a program on TV the other night (which was uninterrupted by any Canadian Tire ads) on raising llamas, which are evidently quite cuddly, very woolly, very profitable and easy to raise - yes, right here in Canada. Watch for llamas in the background the next time you see one of the ads.
Could it be that this couple is living off ill-gotten gains? Do they perhaps have a grow-op in the basement? Surely not. But just in case, perhaps the local electricity company should check up on their electrical consumption.
I'm sure there's a simple explanation, but it might be an idea for Canadian Tire to announce their occupation - especially if it's llamas. Viewers are interested in that sort of thing.