dave8721
August 18th, 2005, 03:42 PM
The NewTimes has a great real estate development satire this week called "Ubertown". They are basically making fun of the ridiculous ads we see for condos with models stradling tall slender towers between their legs and stuff like that. Pick it up, its pretty entertaining.
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/Issues/current/news/feature.html
Some quotes:
Blue anyone?
"Tired of travel troubles? This glass-and-steel beauty is built in the median of I-95. Go straight from the parking garage to the highway and dramatically reduce your commute time. Special air-filtration system keeps most harmful exhaust fumes from entering the building."
"Copernicus
Lavish waterfront penthouses from $8 mil. Amenities include floor-to-ceiling mirrors in every room, diamond-encrusted bathroom fixtures, full-size theater and concert hall, obedient valets and maids. Copernicus -- when the universe revolves around you."
"Do you live for art? This Wynwood gem is surrounded by a revolving door of galleries, many of them in business for weeks at a time. The sidewalks are teeming with aspiring artists seeking commissions and spray-painting wondrous tableaux on the walls of neighborhood businesses. 2/2 with alley views. Starting at $8.5 mil."
"Do you pride yourself on gliding past the masses and through the velvet rope? Now you can have that same uplifting experience every time you go home, where doormen and velvet ropes ensure that only A-list visitors gain entrance. (As a special service for residents, doormen also provide convenient access to recreational enhancements.) "
"Allapattah
Floor plans are still available at precompletion prices for this diamond in the rough. Be the first millionaire in the neighborhood. Thrill to a bird's-eye view of Miami's gritty urban street life. Better than watching CSI. Visiting guests will be endlessly entertained. Get in on the pre-gentrification bargains, starting at $1.5 mil."
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/Issues/current/news/feature.html
Some quotes:
Blue anyone?
"Tired of travel troubles? This glass-and-steel beauty is built in the median of I-95. Go straight from the parking garage to the highway and dramatically reduce your commute time. Special air-filtration system keeps most harmful exhaust fumes from entering the building."
"Copernicus
Lavish waterfront penthouses from $8 mil. Amenities include floor-to-ceiling mirrors in every room, diamond-encrusted bathroom fixtures, full-size theater and concert hall, obedient valets and maids. Copernicus -- when the universe revolves around you."
"Do you live for art? This Wynwood gem is surrounded by a revolving door of galleries, many of them in business for weeks at a time. The sidewalks are teeming with aspiring artists seeking commissions and spray-painting wondrous tableaux on the walls of neighborhood businesses. 2/2 with alley views. Starting at $8.5 mil."
"Do you pride yourself on gliding past the masses and through the velvet rope? Now you can have that same uplifting experience every time you go home, where doormen and velvet ropes ensure that only A-list visitors gain entrance. (As a special service for residents, doormen also provide convenient access to recreational enhancements.) "
"Allapattah
Floor plans are still available at precompletion prices for this diamond in the rough. Be the first millionaire in the neighborhood. Thrill to a bird's-eye view of Miami's gritty urban street life. Better than watching CSI. Visiting guests will be endlessly entertained. Get in on the pre-gentrification bargains, starting at $1.5 mil."