>
>
> A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
>
> She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
>
> The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
> you three wishes."
>
> The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
>
> to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you
> wish for, your husband will get ....... times ten!"
>
> The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
> the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do
> realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome
> man that ever lived, an Adonis whom women will swoon over and flock
> to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most
> beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
>
> So, KAZAM!!! - She's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
>
> For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
>
> The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
> world by far. And he will be ten times richer than you. "The woman
> said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
> mine."
>
> So, KAZAM!!! - She's the richest woman in the world!
>
> The frog then inquired about her third wish, and after careful
> consideration she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
>
> Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
>
> ATTENTION female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
> here and continue feeling good.
>
> Male Readers Only: Please scroll down.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
>
> Moral of the story: Women are really not as smart as they think .
>
> Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
>
> PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
> show that women are nosey and never listen!!!
>

Man, that was an awesome joke :D
I showed it to my girlfriend and she laughed the hell out too :D

She would be surprised to find that her husband had 10 times milder stroke, eheh :)

How do you call a bad relationship?
RelationSHIT

-Dane Cook

Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Kostunica died and went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England : I want to call England and see
how everybody is doing there". She called and talked for about 5
minutes, and then she asked "Well,Devil, how much do I owe you?" The
devil says "Five million pounds". She wrote him a cheque and went to
sit back on her chair.
George Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna
call the United States ; I want to see how everybody is doing there
too." He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked
"Well, Devil,how much do I owe you?" The devil says "Ten million
dollars". With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to
sit back on his chair. Kostunica was even more jealous and starts
screaming,"I want to call Serbia too, I want to see how everybody is
doing there too. I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputy; I
want to talk to Velja,everybody..." He calls Serbia and he talks for
about twenty hours, he talked and talked and talked, then he asked,
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you?" The devil says "One dollar".

Kostunica is stunned and says "One dollar? Only one freaking dollar?"
The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another,its
local".

Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Kostunica died and went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England : I want to call England and see
how everybody is doing there". She called and talked for about 5
minutes, and then she asked "Well,Devil, how much do I owe you?" The
devil says "Five million pounds". She wrote him a cheque and went to
sit back on her chair.
George Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna
call the United States ; I want to see how everybody is doing there
too." He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked
"Well, Devil,how much do I owe you?" The devil says "Ten million
dollars". With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to
sit back on his chair. Kostunica was even more jealous and starts
screaming,"I want to call Serbia too, I want to see how everybody is
doing there too. I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputy; I
want to talk to Velja,everybody..." He calls Serbia and he talks for
about twenty hours, he talked and talked and talked, then he asked,
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you?" The devil says "One dollar".

Kostunica is stunned and says "One dollar? Only one freaking dollar?"
The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another,its
local".

This is a very funny joke.
Altho i cannot escape the feeling you have something very big against us, you always post negative stuff about us.
I don't really care what your problem is, but just an observation.

This is a very funny joke.
Altho i cannot escape the feeling you have something very big against us, you always post negative stuff about us.
I don't really care what your problem is, but just an observation.

Common it's just a joke , not that i love you very much though... I received it from a friend living west of you, and the joke is good. It could be easily interpretated for each of the balkan countries.

Too bad this topic will be locked coz some people find it extremely difficult to contain their miserable complexities about other people.

Yeah, that guy is obsessed with Serbia, so never mind, all of this is just part of his cure :cheers:

Anyway that joke was made in Serbia, just translated.. And its ok not SOOO funny but good :D
------------------
Somebody organized beer symposium and in the break they decided to drink something. The representative of Heineken orders Heineken, the representative from Gösser orders Gösser. The guy from Stella orders Stella. Only the Irish guy from the Guiness factory orders a Pepsi. The others ask him :
How could you order pepsi on a beer symposium?
The Irish replies:
Aaah what the heck, if you're not drinking beer why would I ?

Hope will keep this thread ... Jokes jokes jokes ... only. Cheers!

OK :)

God descended from the skies and shouted the following scary message:

"You sinners! You keep on drinking, doing drugs, stealing, having liberal sex practices, etc. You don't care about the poor! If you don't stop in a week, I'll press that big red button and exterminate all human life on the planet!"

People were shocked! A week passed and God came back to earth to check the progress.

He went to the USA. All corporations were disbanded, alchohol was banned, people lived in some kind of a real socialism, there were no more poverty. And God was delighted.

Then he came to France. The region around Clichy blvd was utterly destroyed. The wine industry was gone. There were no poor guys anywhere. And God was delighted!

Then he came to Bulgaria. Everyone was heavily drinking, there were parties everywhere, noone cared about anything. God got very angry and said "I am going to press that fucking button in a day! You are all gonna die because of those stubborn Bulgarians!!!"

Then the French and the Americans came to Bulgaria, totally pissed. They asked "are you crazy? He's gonna kill all of us because of you!". Then the Bulgarian president told them "don't worry guys, we've seen the God's device with the big red button. It's made in Bulgaria!"

Hahahahaha, the first one was good, the others were kinda crappy.

Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Kostunica died and went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England : I want to call England and see
how everybody is doing there". She called and talked for about 5
minutes, and then she asked "Well,Devil, how much do I owe you?" The
devil says "Five million pounds". She wrote him a cheque and went to
sit back on her chair.
George Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna
call the United States ; I want to see how everybody is doing there
too." He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked
"Well, Devil,how much do I owe you?" The devil says "Ten million
dollars". With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to
sit back on his chair. Kostunica was even more jealous and starts
screaming,"I want to call Serbia too, I want to see how everybody is
doing there too. I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputy; I
want to talk to Velja,everybody..." He calls Serbia and he talks for
about twenty hours, he talked and talked and talked, then he asked,
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you?" The devil says "One dollar".

Kostunica is stunned and says "One dollar? Only one freaking dollar?"
The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another,its
local".


LOOL, I thought it would be another boring nationalist joke about 3 different nationalities, was not sure who Konstunca was until you mentioned Serbia, but very funny none the less. :lol::lol:

>
>
> A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
>
> She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
>
> The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
> you three wishes."
>
> The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
>
> to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you
> wish for, your husband will get ....... times ten!"
>
> The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
> the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do
> realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome
> man that ever lived, an Adonis whom women will swoon over and flock
> to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most
> beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
>
> So, KAZAM!!! - She's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
>
> For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
>
> The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
> world by far. And he will be ten times richer than you. "The woman
> said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
> mine."
>
> So, KAZAM!!! - She's the richest woman in the world!
>
> The frog then inquired about her third wish, and after careful
> consideration she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
>
> Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
>
> ATTENTION female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
> here and continue feeling good.
>
> Male Readers Only: Please scroll down.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
>
> Moral of the story: Women are really not as smart as they think .
>
> Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
>
> PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
> show that women are nosey and never listen!!!
>



LOOL, very sexist, but very funny joke...

:lol:

Why are men so smart and women talk so much???







Cause men have two heads and women have four lips!






:)

Well, I guess jokes can reveal a great deal about one's developmental level :fart:

LOOL, very sexist, but very funny joke...

^^:) It was sent to me by a woman

Why are men so smart and women talk so much???







Cause men have two heads and women have four lips!






:)

the other ones were bof bof but this one is funny :lol:

WIN 2 AIRLINE TICKETS ALL EXPENSES PAID TO THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES IN PEKING, CHINA.

To participate is very easy, just view the attached photo, correctly
answer the following questions and send your answers to the
International Olympic Committee:

1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?

Good Luck!!!!

http://p-inx.com/win/pic.jpg

:uh:I'll watch the games on TV.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy.

Consul : What is your name?
Arab : Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both M ale and female sometimes camels

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too

Consul: Man,......... isn' t it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh dear!
Arab : Deer No ,hole too high, run too fast!

so, 2 guys died (Russian and American). they went streight 2 hell and Devil is asking:"where do u guys want 2 b? Russian hell or American hell?"
-whats the difference? (American asked)
-well, in american hell u have to eat 1 bucket of shit a day and u r free then to do whatever u want...
-And how r things in Russian one? (Russian guy asked)
-Pretty much same thing... u just have to eat 1.5 bucket a day.
-well, i've always lived in Russia and i'm not gonna leave it after death- russian guy sayed.
so he went 2 russian hell and amercan guy went 2 american hell. They meet eachother in a year and Russian guy asks how r things going in america :)
-Great! u eat one bucket and u r free for the whole day! and how r things in Russian hell?
-as usual... they either don't have enogh buckets, either not enough shit was supplied...

Two classmates and good friends (let's say John and Peter) met 5 years after their graduation.

John: "Man, how are you doing? I've just graduated from the university and I'm applying for a job at an international corporation"
Peter: "Well, I've been drinking.."

5 years passed. They met again. John was a well-dressed businessman in a nice new car. Peter looked like bum.

John: "Man, what's up with you? I've married and my wife is pregnant. I got a better position in my company!"
Peter: "Well, I've been drinking.."

10 years passed. They meet again. John is fatty businessman with a nice new big Mercedes car. Peter looks like...bum.

John: "Man, what's up? My child is already in school. I became a manager of our national subsidiary"
Peter: "I've been drinking..."

10 more years passed and they meet again. Surprise! Peter has a nice ferrari sports car and looks like a very happy person.

John: "Man, what's up with you! Where did you find this Ferrari car? Wow!"
Peter: "Well, I sold all the empty beer bottles to a recycling factory and made a fortune!"

Why does a cop, when entering his house, throw his cigarette on the bed and jumps out the window?



-He got confused.

Why does a cop, when entering his house, throw his cigarette on the bed and jumps out the window?



-He got confused.
hehe:laugh:

A Polish worker is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was. The Pole replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."

Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Coke bottle in Poland? A: Open other end.
Q: How do you break a Pole's finger? A: Hit him on the nose.

Two Poles are talking about their friend who immigrated to America. "Did you hear about Bartek? He opened up a jewellery store after just one year in America!" "How did he do that?" "With a crowbar."

and others Polish jokes
http://www.polishjoke.com/polish_joke-index.htm

A romanian joke that was in the paper today

A group of Bulgarian tourists on a trip to Romania through the Carpatian mountains.Out of nowhere they hear a horrible sound.Scared, the bulgarians, ask the guide what happened..The guide says:
- Here in our country, in Romania, there are a group of beautiful women who when the time arrives to find a mate they gather in a cave up in the mountain and scream as loud as they can , by this showing their hormonal feelings meaning that it's time to find a sexual partner, answers the guide.
2 days later in Sofia in the main newspaper with capital letters you could read:
15 bulgarian men were ran over by a train in a tunnel the Carpatian mountains, in Romania.For some unknown reason they were all naked.

I don't get it :(

group of beautiful women who when the time arrives to find a mate they gather in a cave .....

15 bulgarian men were ran over by a train in a tunnel the Carpatian mountains, in Romania.For some unknown reason they were all naked.
Probably they ran to a tunnel looking for women in a cave...

A virgin guy of about 25 years old meets a sexy and wanting girl who proposes that they should try to have sex. 'Let's start with 69', she says. 'OK', accepts the guy, not knowing what the girl was talking about.

So, they start doing the 69, and, at some point, the girl farts. 'Well', the guy thinks to himself, 'it must have been just a mistake', and they continue. The girl farts a second time. The guy gets up annoyed and starts putting on his clothes. 'What are you doing?', asks the girl. 'Well, I'm fed up with this 69 game. Keep the other 67 'cause I am outa here'. :lol:

That sounds bad...and reminds me of some similar, but more brutal case that was kinda urban myth in my hometown :)

A romanian joke that was in the paper today

A group of Bulgarian tourists on a trip to Romania through the Carpatian mountains.Out of nowhere they hear a horrible sound.Scared, the bulgarians, ask the guide what happened..The guide says:
- Here in our country, in Romania, there are a group of beautiful women who when the time arrives to find a mate they gather in a cave up in the mountain and scream as loud as they can , by this showing their hormonal feelings meaning that it's time to find a sexual partner, answers the guide.
2 days later in Sofia in the main newspaper with capital letters you could read:
15 bulgarian men were ran over by a train in a tunnel the Carpatian mountains, in Romania.For some unknown reason they were all naked.

^^ Hehehe ... those romanian journalists have taken way too seriously our football rivalry recently

Btw , here we have some kind of idiom in our language that's used maybe from nearly a century... When you want to say that someone will fuck up some work just before it's done or that someone has way too high selfesteem and will probably fail at the end you campare him with the northern neighbour saying: "He will drown like a romanian at the end of the Danube" or simply "Romanians drown just before they have swam over the Danube" ... I think this idiom came to use in our language and folklore after the battle of Tutrakan(Turtucaia) in ww1 ...

^^ Hehehe ... those romanian journalists have taken way too seriously our football rivalry recently
You better watch out for Romanian news papers posting 'negative' things about Bulgaria, afterall that's what you do best:nuts:

Well, our Romanian affairs are kinda on different scale and noone takes them so seriously. Bulgarian-Macedonian fun is more like the Romanian-Moldovan fun :)

^^ Who gives a damn about Macedonia anyway ?!? :nuts: ... It ain't me anymore ...

Yes, but that does not change the fact that we all love to read something about what happened in Macedonia and generalize things...unlike the case of Romania, when all those are purposed to be fun and even their authors don't take them very seriously :) Like Stoichkov and that Mutu guy. Krastavetki & mamaligari is fun, not like reading about the BS comming from guys like Latas and Karakachanov, they always take it too seriously..

A romanian joke that was in the paper today

A group of Bulgarian tourists on a trip to Romania through the Carpatian mountains.Out of nowhere they hear a horrible sound.Scared, the bulgarians, ask the guide what happened..The guide says:
- Here in our country, in Romania, there are a group of beautiful women who when the time arrives to find a mate they gather in a cave up in the mountain and scream as loud as they can , by this showing their hormonal feelings meaning that it's time to find a sexual partner, answers the guide.
2 days later in Sofia in the main newspaper with capital letters you could read:
15 bulgarian men were ran over by a train in a tunnel the Carpatian mountains, in Romania.For some unknown reason they were all naked.

That's a lame joke man. It hardly made me laugh. Never use this kind of jokes which demean the other people on this forum. Thx :cheers:

^^ Well we both with the romaninas are on the same side since some time , we share the same problems , the same desires etc. ... All those jokes between Mutu , Stoichkov etc. are really just for fun :)

Well, our Romanian affairs are kinda on different scale and noone takes them so seriously. Bulgarian-Macedonian fun is more like the Romanian-Moldovan fun :)

Watch out the match tonigh, man. We'll kick your arses :cheers:
I bet on 2:0 for Romania :banana:

Good joke, good joke :lol:

hey Le Clerk :) Let's move this discussion to the apropriate thread (http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=508376&page=20), what would you say ? :)

^^ Who gives a damn about Macedonia anyway ?!? :nuts: ... It ain't me anymore ...

what a sad story... :cry: I wonder where all those good intentions and dreams about good relations went over night. Or were they ever here really :|

^^ In fact I consider going to watch it at the stadium. We'll see...I'm not in a mood to watch a game alone and the support from some friends is not yet sure...

I'd not be surprised if we lose the game, those pussies have nothing left to fight for...and the team itself is playing very bad, we have some very good players, but the organization and training programme sucks..and noone gives a damn f@ck :(

^^ hey bgrs :) I am going to the stadium too with a bunch of Etar fans :) sektor Б i think ... on the side of the main stand. let's meet some where if you want ?

^^ Well...dunno, I haven't bought a ticket yet and like always, I'm gonna resort to the black market :)

So I don't know what sector I'll be in. Most certainly again in the Levski's favourite one. Last time I went there was on a match with Sweden I think. It was packed with some nazi skinhead idiots. Not to mention the fact that when the game was over, those idiots almost went into a fight first with some CSKA supporters group and then with some shitty punks they saw near Ariana.

Hope I'd find a ticket for sector A or V..

I sent you a p.m. :) DOn't worry bout the ticket

OK, we'll arrange it I hope :)

Today in the main newspaper I found a funny article about the Romanian journalists in Sofia. During the practice of the Romanian team, the journalists were outside the stadium. They were waiting for an invitation to enter. Then 2 gypsies with a cart appeared and the Romanian journalists started laughing..So that was 1:0 for Romania...but after the entering into the stadium some employees from the municipal service discovered that the 10 Romanian cars parked in front of the stadium didn't pay for the parking lots..so the employees enclosed them into brackets...So the final score is 1:1 :lol:

That's a lame joke man. It hardly made me laugh. Never use this kind of jokes which demean the other people on this forum. Thx :cheers:


:lol: You make me laugh.I didn't invent the joke you guys did in Romania, it's in the Libertatea newspaper yesterday and I sure don't think it's offensive or anything just good old fun.

:lol: You make me laugh.I didn't invent the joke you guys did in Romania, it's in the Libertatea newspaper yesterday and I sure don't think it's offensive or anything just good old fun.

Fuck Libertatea, it's one of the lousiest tabloids here:bash:...it's like the British Sun...a piece of toilet paper.

That was a silly joke, but a joke afterall. Just chill. One could easily turn it into a Romanians in Bulgaria joke, and I'm sure the idiots from Libertatea aren't the ones that invented it. It's so easy to adapt a joke. I don't feel offended by jokes and I take it Bulgarians do the same. So what's the fuss?:cheers:

Speaking of Libertatea... I find it really sad to see the majority of people reading Libertatea or Cancan in the subway on their way to work every single funking morning. How can you read that lousy tabloid that's full of boobs and lame ass articles written by lame ass "journalists"?!:bash: I'm sick of it...

mode55, why do you waste your time reading Libertatea?!

^^ Don't worry :) nobody here took that joke seriously ;) no ro-bg or the opposite jokes are taken seriously here anymore ... they are just jokes.

maybe you understand maybe not but this is so stupid:nuts:

Mariah kissed them:) and ........

isQk9SzK0_M

Fuck Libertatea, it's one of the lousiest tabloids here:bash:...it's like the British Sun...a piece of toilet paper.

:lol: You must be young, I don't know man, back in the day Libertatea was a decent paper, maybe it went downhill since then I don't know.

what a sad story... :cry: I wonder where all those good intentions and dreams about good relations went over night. Or were they ever here really :|
I'm still trying to come with terms with it all:cry:

:lol: You must be young, I don't know man, back in the day Libertatea was a decent paper, maybe it went downhill since then I don't know.
Yeah, I'm only 21, but I remember it being decent and even buying it, but not anymore.:ohno:

P.S.:yeah, I know you were reffering to Le Clerk.:)

Hehe :) Let me guess....it got acquired by WAZ? :)

Hehe :) Let me guess....it got acquired by WAZ? :)

No, it's owned now by Ringier Swizerland ... but not too far away from WAZ I'd say. The only good thing in that paper are the chicks. See for yourself: http://www.libertatea.ro/ :cheers:

^^ Hehehe ... those romanian journalists have taken way too seriously our football rivalry recently

Btw , here we have some kind of idiom in our language that's used maybe from nearly a century... When you want to say that someone will fuck up some work just before it's done or that someone has way too high selfesteem and will probably fail at the end you campare him with the northern neighbour saying: "He will drown like a romanian at the end of the Danube" or simply "Romanians drown just before they have swam over the Danube" ... I think this idiom came to use in our language and folklore after the battle of Tutrakan(Turtucaia) in ww1 ...

Well you are excused, giving the fact that you are a Bulgarian which explain the fact that you act in such dirty way, a gipsy way, thinking that we are fools, exactly like the Gipsy thinks about the other people.

First thing is that your "idiom", like that joke bgrs wrote it (which it was told by the kids in Romania for decades because for sure i heard it since the kindergarten, almost 20 years ago), are nothing but translations of the Romanian jokes and stories.

But let's be coming back to the "He will drown like a Romanian (with capital "r" for you) just before they have swam over the Danube" this of course another saying plagiated form Romanians. And it is a very old story behind the saying, which of course i know it since i was a kid anyway the saying is used in a context when a person failed miserably just when he was close of succeeding and sound like: "You drown at the shore just like the Gipsy".

So how smart you think yourself Bulgarian to replace Romanian with Gipsy (i'm sure it's the same saying as the Romanian one since you have nothing original in your culture) just like a Gipsy you behaved thinking we are fools and we'll not notice what you mean acting just like the Gipsyes who think all the people who are not Gipsyes are fools and they cannot be caught doing their crafts, just like your case, stealing Romanian jokes and sayings and deliberately twisting their words in an Asiatic manner.

And how you hit two with one bullet mentioning Turtucaia. I'll not go into the details but this just shows how pathetic you are if you take pride with a battle about which you have little to be proud with except the fact you were on the side of three empires that attacked a small country (much smaller then is today) on a huge front while our Russian allies miserably failed to defend Dobrogea leaving the small Romanian army near the Danube outnumbered and encircled.

But truly you Bulgarians really should not speak about history and gypsies, this should be taboo subjects for you, about the former, is something that you don't had and you would not have if not for the Romanian intervention in 1877 and about the latter, well you have plenty of them and they are anyway in behavior and looks quite similar to you.

PS a Romanian joke (but please don’t try to steal this one also):

A Bulgarian comes from school and tells his father with enthusiasm:
Papa, the teacher asked us today what 1+1 equals and I was the only in the classroom that I told her that the result is 2, why is that father? Because I’m Bulgarian father?
No, my dear child, that’s because you are smart.
The next day the same:
Papa, the teacher asked us today what’s the result of 2+3 and I was the only one that I knew that the result is 5, why papa? Because I’m Bulgarian?
No, son, that’s because you are smart…
The third day:
Papa, papa, today the school doctor came and check our belly and I was the only one in the classroom that have hair on the belly, why is that father because I’m Bulgarian?
No my dear son, that’s because you are 21 years old.

^^ someone is a bit bitter today. don't make a fool of yourself. a joke is a joke. if you can't handle it, go drown in the Danube river!

MCM83, you signed up just to have a say at Bulgarians and their jokes?:ohno: Chill, man... it was just a joke.
Please excuse our Romanian friend, he had a bad day at work.:cheers:

Whatever, like i said, i'll excuse the Bulgarians, really it must be a pain to be Bulgarian.

Still it got in your habit to insult us with every available occasion, that's beside another "good" habit of you that is to plunder the Romanian tourists who travel through Bulgaria etc etc.

Really Bulgarians take good care as one day Romanians might respond. As for drowning in the Danube, for 600 years you drown fleeing your Ottoman masters, many Bulgarians drown just at the shore exactly like...Well i let you figure exactly like who. That's another no no for you, mentioning about drowning in the Danube.

As for why i signed up, well it remains to be seen.

Cosmin post shows again that we are centuries ahead of Bulgarians,. We could never see a Bulgarian criticizing another Bulgarian that insults another people yet in Romania if you respond to insults, not to mentioning starting with insults, you'll have lots of other Romanians asking you to behave.

Bulgarians on this forum kept the silence about the Turnovec insult and even more they probably were very happy about it.

But they must be patient, maybe some day civilization will finally stick with them too.

Dude, there was NO insult. It's called a joke! Why do you have to take it so serious and go back to the Ottomans?

Of course, it is "called" a joke and "NO insult", that's why "he", and not I, "went back" to Turtucaia battle (at least even someone like you can see that). Nebunul started with a joke, what Turnovec replied were just dirty insults under a thin disguise for which you and the other Romanians feel so easily. Now, i am the bad guy and i should not hurt the feelings of the inocent Bulgarians, isn't it?

Truly to consider what Turnovec wrote, a joke, you really must have a twisted sense of humor or rather a low IQ.

My advice is to wake up. Or continue sleeping and dreaming that Turnovec made an inocent joke, and Bulgarians are your friends. :D

Goodbye and not to forget: If you and maybe the other Romanians think that i'm wrong you should really ask yourself if there's nothing wrong with you and it must be if you are so easily taken for fools by the Bulgarians.

Of course, it is "called" a joke and "NO insult", that's why "he", and not I, "went back" to Turtucaia battle (at least even someone like you can see that).[...]

Truly to consider what Turnovec wrote, a joke, you really must have a twisted sense of humor or rather a low IQ.

My advice is to wake up. Or continue sleeping and dreaming that Turnovec made an inocent joke, and Bulgarians are your friends. :D

Goodbye and not to forget: If you and maybe the other Romanians think that i'm wrong you should really ask yourself if there's nothing wrong with you and it must be if you are so easily taken for fools by the Bulgarians.
Man, I'm coming down with a cold and I don't feel so well, so I won't waste my energy explaining to you why you're paranoid and I won't respond to your kindargarten insults. I sense there's a good chance you simpatize with PRM, though!

Good for you... cheers and take care!:cheers:

Keep, laughing and don't ask yourself why he went back to the WW1 and Turtucaia but be sure to question me. About paranoia, either i'm paranoid or you are pure stupid, enough said.

Well you are excused, giving the fact that you are a Bulgarian which explain the fact that you act in such dirty way, a gipsy way, thinking that we are fools, exactly like the Gipsy thinks about the other people.


Sorry but this is the place where i stopped reading what you had to say.
I ain't in a mood to quarrel with you or anybody else right now.

Cheers to all romanian forumers ! :cheers:

MCM, you must be from the Romanian compatriots of Ataka and Darth Siderous hehe. And yes, of course you are not paranoid, you are always realistic. And everyone that do not agree with you is either stupid or just an enemy of the people :)

BTW what about the gypsies? Are you going to turn them into soap like your colleagues in Bulgaria are planning or you have a more advanced idea being a Romanian ultra-nationalist? :)

well this crap below just can't fly past me. let me swat it down along with you.... 1 swat, 2 flies.


Whatever, like i said, i'll excuse the Bulgarians, really it must be a pain to be Bulgarian.
Indeed. It is a total pain to be first in reforms, to have a stable government, to have never had a dictator that massacred his own people, to have the better weather and coast and to not be a synonym for count dracula. Not to mention to be the one collecting all the road taxes from the middle east towards europe and back. It is such a pain i tell you.


Still it got in your habit to insult us with every available occasion, that's beside another "good" habit of you that is to plunder the Romanian tourists who travel through Bulgaria etc etc.

quite frankly i am not sure where you even get this from. if anything, we pick a lot more on the serbs, russians and macedonians and turks and they complain much less than you, which means 2 things. you are a liar or just a sissy with some esteem issues. pick one. both suit you well.



Really Bulgarians take good care as one day Romanians might respond. As for drowning in the Danube, for 600 years you drown fleeing your Ottoman masters, many Bulgarians drown just at the shore exactly like...Well i let you figure exactly like who. That's another no no for you, mentioning about drowning in the Danube.
The day you respond will be the day you ask us for aid. Fair enough my mighty military power to the north.

As for the ottomans,

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~gov46/ottoman-empire-1580.gif

this map clearly shows you drowned going south towards us (and our ottoman masters) because after all, the ottoman empire was 1000 times better than what you had back "home", in the ottoman province of romania with dracula presiding......


As for why i signed up, well it remains to be seen.

1. trolling
2. self esteem issues
3. blatant flaming?
4. causing the thread to be locked?


Cosmin post shows again that we are centuries ahead of Bulgarians,. We could never see a Bulgarian criticizing another Bulgarian that insults another people yet in Romania if you respond to insults, not to mentioning starting with insults, you'll have lots of other Romanians asking you to behave.


The egyptians are then a zillion years ahead of you. They made the pyramids when you couldn't even grasp the logistics of the mud hut....... :ohno:


Bulgarians on this forum kept the silence about the Turnovec insult and even more they probably were very happy about it.

So... do you want to sneak around our customs hold and try to make another tabloid article about corruption (and whine when you get arrested for violating a restricted area) or do you want to head back over the danube and investigate your own miserable excuse for customs officials? Not like they get any actual border traffic.. maybe the occassional horse cart........ i guess their incompetence is excused.

your country has formally and officially commited espionage on my land over and over and here you have the audacity to whine about a joke a person made on a forum? a joke that wasn't even insultive... holy moly! :bash:




But they must be patient, maybe some day civilization will finally stick with them too.

nah we'll pass. looking at how you've hit rock bottom after your "great empire" collapsed, we will just move along uncivilized.

feel free to ask for handouts on the way though.

^^ Now i had to read all the man's comments ...

I am sorry he had to sign in the forum just to respond to my joke.
Sorry, dude, no matter how hard you tried , you ain't gonna change my possitive attitude towards Romania and its people. I have packed Mutu & Stoichkov long ago in a sack and kicked them really hard. Now let's stop drowning in the Danube and start building bridges instead at each 60km. What would you say ?

well this crap below just can't fly past me. let me swat it down along with you.... 1 swat, 2 flies.
You realise your post was more of an uncalled counterattack on Romania and Romanians in general, and not against MCM83, right?:) Why play his game?:ohno:

That being said, let's get back to telling jokes here.

When will life be good in Hungary?
When the police officer speaking 4 languages helps the work-tired gypsy to get on the maglev of Miskolc,who goes to the trial of the politicians.:D

You realise your post was more of an uncalled counterattack on Romania and Romanians in general, and not against MCM83, right?:) Why play his game?:ohno:

That being said, let's get back to telling jokes here.

I beg to differ but to each his own. His post was loaded so naturally any response would rub someone off.

lets see how many countries we can fit in one joke:

Representatives from different nations gathered in a restaurant for dinner and talks. To start the evening, they all ordered wine, however when it was delivered, there was a fly in the glass of each.

The swede tossed the wine in a random direction and handled his glass for a refill.

The brit refused to touch it and demanded new glass and wine.

The finnish scooped the fly out and drank his wine

The russian drank it as it is down to the last drop....

the chinese thought for an hour, ate the fly but refused the wine.

the israeli then took his fly and sold it to the chinese and asked for another glass with another fly in it.....

the slav (to avoid listing all countries) drank most of the wine and then asked for a replacement..

the norweigan decided the weather was too good to waste, took his fly and went fishing with it.

the irish picked his fly up and dropped it in the new glass of the brit.

the american called CNN, posted to 300 blogs via his phone and filed a lawsuit for a few million against the restaurant, wine maker, waiter, the local pest control..... then dropped the phone in the glass and later went to the store to get his free replacement.

the scotsman pinned his fly with the fork and started yelling at it "spit it out ye bastard, spit out all ye drank of me wine"

the cuban smoked his cigar and when he was done, he traded his wine and fly to the american for his gun, accused the waiter of being a democrat and trying to poison him and shot him in the chest.

^^ Good joke ! :lol:

^^ Good joke ! :lol:

Yes! But no Romanian atitude! I can just imagine it :lol:

Some maths:

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office Arithmetic

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay Ј2 for a Ј1 item he needs.
A woman will pay Ј1 for a Ј2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

...and finally...HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED, this WORKS!

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

^^The last one is GOOD!:rofl: I hate being poked in the ribs. I sometimes feel the urge to punch some very close relatives for that!:rant:

Keep, laughing and don't ask yourself why he went back to the WW1 and Turtucaia but be sure to question me. About paranoia, either i'm paranoid or you are pure stupid, enough said.

Hey, MCM, can you write some Romanian here? I've never seen you writing in Romanian. Thanks. So let's get to Nebuniile Nebunului thread.

^^ I doubt MCM is Romanian...never saw him writing in Romanian. So chill everybody. I'd rather say it was a provocation.

I beg to differ but to each his own. His post was loaded so naturally any response would rub someone off.

lets see how many countries we can fit in one joke:

Representatives from different nations gathered in a restaurant for dinner and talks. To start the evening, they all ordered wine, however when it was delivered, there was a fly in the glass of each.

The swede tossed the wine in a random direction and handled his glass for a refill.

The brit refused to touch it and demanded new glass and wine.

The finnish scooped the fly out and drank his wine

The russian drank it as it is down to the last drop....

the chinese thought for an hour, ate the fly but refused the wine.

the israeli then took his fly and sold it to the chinese and asked for another glass with another fly in it.....

the slav (to avoid listing all countries) drank most of the wine and then asked for a replacement..

the norweigan decided the weather was too good to waste, took his fly and went fishing with it.

the irish picked his fly up and dropped it in the new glass of the brit.

the american called CNN, posted to 300 blogs via his phone and filed a lawsuit for a few million against the restaurant, wine maker, waiter, the local pest control..... then dropped the phone in the glass and later went to the store to get his free replacement.

the scotsman pinned his fly with the fork and started yelling at it "spit it out ye bastard, spit out all ye drank of me wine"

the cuban smoked his cigar and when he was done, he traded his wine and fly to the american for his gun, accused the waiter of being a democrat and trying to poison him and shot him in the chest.

I found the Romanian version of the joke. Some amendments to the above:

The Swed asked for another refill of wine in the same glass.
Romanian drank the glass 3/4 full and asked for a refill.
The Irish chopped the fly and sent it to the Brit.
The Scottish grab the fly off its neck and shouted: Right now you spitt back all you drank!

:nuts::lol:

PS: I just noticed the Romanian did the same as the Slav. :lol:

A fisherman goes to the doctor.

-Doc, I can't shit anymore, my but has been tied up.
-How did it happen, asked the doc.
-One day, I went fishing and caught the Golden Fish, who begged me to ask a wish to let it free.
-And what did you wish, asked the doc.
-I got scared when I saw the Golden Fish and cryed: No Shit!!:lol:

A fisherman goes to the doctor.

-Doc, I can't shit anymore, my but has been tied up.
-How did it happen, asked the doc.
-One day, I went fishing and caught the Golden Fish, who begged me to ask a wish to let it free.
-And what did you wish, asked the doc.
-I got scared when I saw the Golden Fish and cryed: No Shit!!:lol:Do you know a funnier joke than this one? Or this is the funniest you know?

Do you know a funnier joke than this one? Or this is the funniest you know?

Woow, we've got a serious man around here. What's the point visiting this thread anyway?! It's only for poor jokers. :ohno:

Heheheh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iwPwaNtzRI

^^MERDE!:lol:

Heheheh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iwPwaNtzRI

The fact that we can actually see the video means that nothing bad happened.

French are better known for their civil technology rather than the military one. Airbus, Euro Fighter, Concorde, etc etc

Yeah, nothing happened. The vid is at least a year old.

Btw, Eurofighter is anything but civil.:lol:

Yeah, nothing happened. The vid is at least a year old.

Btw, Eurofighter is anything but civil.:lol:

I know, just listed it there...and it is not 100 per cent French either..

I know, just listed it there...and it is not 100 per cent French either..

France left the Eurofighter program in 1983. They built Rafale instead.

I have one quick joke:

radi6404 & Struma highway :D

I have one quick joke:

radi6404 & Struma highway :D

What's with the Struma highway?

^^You're here since 2004 and have no clue about radi & Struma?!?

http://www.inetdisc.com/kalerab/getimg.php?src=forum/h/hummer_akajudqaz.jpg

^^You're here since 2004 and have no clue about radi & Struma?!?

I have been most of the time absent:cheers: Could not access it from the the jobs I had...

Dis-moi tout!

I'm sure some Bulgarian users could explain it better, but simply put, radi has a "crush" on Struma motorway and its black asphalt and shiny crash barriers.:lol: But he digs these two aspects of the Struma in any motorway. He even said Struma is better than some German autobahns.:D

Communique to the anti-war protesters of the world!


President Bush will be accomodated at the Marriot hotel in Bucharest during the NATO summit. Spoiled eggs and onion can be found at the store accross the street!

I'm not anti-war, I'm just anti-Bush.:D You think the eggs that are in my fridge now will hold till the summit? I want them to be just right.:D

sure...they will be more Hard and cold...you will hit your target more accurate!..:nuts:
i recommend using tomateos..too..if you can reach him of course!:)

It would be fine if they arange a Dublia Bush and Putin meeting ...
Whose gonna get more spoiled eggs and tomatoes ?
I think it would be even :D

I'm not anti-war, I'm just anti-Bush.:D You think the eggs that are in my fridge now will hold till the summit? I want them to be just right.:D

I have become anti-war and anti-Bush alike...That war, as many others are fought for the profit of the few. And Bush is not even fighting for US, but his family and those around...It might not have been his call, but of the Establishment...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhZ_lbsVR_0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPfyPjqVJU8&NR=1

Asta e cea mai tare..am ras vreo 5 minute:lol::lol:

There is 3 lost guys in the forest who are captured by local tribesman
The tribesman tell the 3 guys to go and collect 10 pieces of fruit
The first guy comes back with 10 apples
The tribesman tell him to put all 10 apples up his ass or he will be killed
So the guy gets one apple up there but can't fit anymore so he is killed
The second guy lucky for him came back with 10 grapes
He had shoved 9 grapes up his ass when all of a sudden he started laughing
Because of this the tribesman killed him
Then the 2 guys that were killed met up in heaven
The first guy asks him, you had 9 grapes up your ass, why didn't you put the tenth one up there?

The guy replies " because I saw the third guy carrying pineapples":lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gIlm00mI_Y right by the end

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayC2ndOITYI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeaHSpsXOr8&NR=1

edit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwgM5AjO5LA

^^The first one is well worth watching till the end.:rofl:

There is 3 lost guys in the forest who are captured by local tribesman
The tribesman tell the 3 guys to go and collect 10 pieces of fruit
The first guy comes back with 10 apples
The tribesman tell him to put all 10 apples up his ass or he will be killed
So the guy gets one apple up there but can't fit anymore so he is killed
The second guy lucky for him came back with 10 grapes
He had shoved 9 grapes up his ass when all of a sudden he started laughing
Because of this the tribesman killed him
Then the 2 guys that were killed met up in heaven
The first guy asks him, you had 9 grapes up your ass, why didn't you put the tenth one up there?

The guy replies " because I saw the third guy carrying pineapples":lol:
The first guy could fit only 1 apple.
It is impossible to fit 10 pineapples. So what's the need to try one?
Sure the last guy gave up without any try.

The funniest thing is the fact that the second guy could have won if he hadn't been so stupid.

once there was an American man a fresh man and a Romanian man...
the American one said:we dug below the white house 200 m and we found telecommunication wires...look how advanced was how grand fathers they used phones from 200 years!!!
the French man said: we dug below Eiffel tower 500 M and we found telecommunication wires...look how advanced our grand fathers..they used telephone from 300years!
the Romanian said:we dug below Place of Parlimant..700 m we didn't find any thing!
Look how advanced was our grand fathers..they used CELL PHONES FROM 500 years!!:)

I don't know guys if you've every read Cyanide & Happiness, but those comics make me laugh like nothing else. Check them out at www.explosm.net

I read all of them (one comic per day has been posted for the last 3 years I think) in 2-3 days.

Originally Posted by Turnovec
Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Kostunica died and went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England : I want to call England and see
how everybody is doing there". She called and talked for about 5
minutes, and then she asked "Well,Devil, how much do I owe you?" The
devil says "Five million pounds". She wrote him a cheque and went to
sit back on her chair.
George Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna
call the United States ; I want to see how everybody is doing there
too." He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked
"Well, Devil,how much do I owe you?" The devil says "Ten million
dollars". With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to
sit back on his chair. Kostunica was even more jealous and starts
screaming,"I want to call Serbia too, I want to see how everybody is
doing there too. I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputy; I
want to talk to Velja,everybody..." He calls Serbia and he talks for
about twenty hours, he talked and talked and talked, then he asked,
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you?" The devil says "One dollar".

Kostunica is stunned and says "One dollar? Only one freaking dollar?"
The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another,its
local".
---------------------------------- * ----------------------------------------

I thought at first time that the hells wweree USA and UK , not Serbia ..

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw, and spots another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but the noise makes it impossible to hear anything, so he tries sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning, "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and shouts: "What the f*ck is wrong with you, idiot? I said I needed a handsaw!" The other guy says: "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."
:lol:

Heres one:

There are five people on a plane : Ronaldinio , Hillary Clinton , George Bush , The Pope and a 7 year old boy

suddenly the pilot says that the plane is going to crash he grabs a parachute and jumps.
there are only 4 parachutes left now
1. Ronaldinio says : I am the best player in the world ,the football world needs me .He grabs a parachute and jumps.
2.Hillary Clinton says :I cant die because I am going to be the next president of America .She grabs a parachute and jumps.
Only 2 parachutes left
3.George Bush says:I am the smartest president of America therefore I cant die.He jumps
2 people and one parachute left
The pope says to the kid: I am old and I have lived my life so go on grab a parachute and jump
The kid replies : Dont worry old man there are parachutes for both of us because the "smartest" president of america grabed my school backpack

Who is smarte cops or theyre bosses

1- The boss calls in a cop and tells him to go to his home and see if he is there(he is refering to himself) . The cop goes and on the way realises :My boss is stupid - instead of sending me to check if he is home he could have called and asked


2- the boss gives the cop a dollar and tells him to go buy him a ferrari. On the way the cop realises - My boss is stupid - he gives me a dollar to go buy him a ferrari and doesent tell me what color to buy it

3-The boss calls in a cop and notices that he (the cop) is wearing a white sock and a black sock . He tells him to go home and change .On the way the cop realises - Why am I going home to change my socks cause when I get there I will still find a white sock and a black sock

There are two 100 floor buildings
2 people have a meeting on the top floor of one of them
the elevators dont work so they take the stairs
When they reach the 90th floor they take a break
One of them cheks and tells the other :I got some bad news and some good news
Good news first replies the other
well 10 more floors and we reach the top
Thank God , and the bad news
We are in the wrong building

The website of the Romanian Supreme Court of Justice has been hacked as of today. If you access www.scj.ro, you will find this nice page:

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/1759/64562441kg3.png (http://imageshack.us)

:lol:

WoW, such ub3r 'leet h4x0rz... what did they use, like one php script?

haha that's funny:p hacking that site...

An elephant asks a camel :
"why are your breasts on your back ?"
"Well " says the camel ,
"I think it is a strange question from somebody who's dick is in his face"

:lol:

Due to the current financial situation Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). Person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.
Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management

:lol:

The National Fathers' Association was set up in Romania. The association is an innitiative of battered fathers and men by wives and women in Romania. Currently, the association numbers 300 members, and their motto is: "Fathers of the world unite!". :lol:

Feel free to join here:

http://www.asociatiatatilor.ro/




S-a înfiinţat Asociaţia Naţională a Taţilor din România
Miercuri 30 ianuarie 2008, 13:13


comentarii print
email bookmark
Când spui violenţă în familie, te gândeşti la femeile bătute de proprii soţi. În România există însă şi reversul medaliei: bărbaţi abuzaţi de către femei.

În sprijinul acestora s-a înfiinţat Asociaţia Naţională a Taţilor din România. Deşi Asociaţia nu există decât de patru luni, are deja peste 300 de membri în toată ţara. Majoritatea sunt bărbaţi care au avut de suferit de pe urma soţiilor. Unii dintre ei sunt victime ale violenţelor casnice, iar alţii au venit în căutarea unui sprijin juridic pentru dobândirea dreptului de a-şi vedea copiii.

"Tăticilor, uniţi-vă!" este apelul pe care îl face Asociaţia Naţională a Taţilor din România. Mulţi dintre ei au ascultat apelul, printre aceştia aflându-se şi Dumitru, un bărbat de aproape 40 de ani, divorţat şi care a căzut victimă bătăilor soţiei sale.

"Copilul nu am putut să îl iau niciodată. Mai mult decât atât, era de o violenţă extremă de multe ori (...) După ce am chemat poliţia a sărit la mine cu pumnu', şi mai tare mi-a dat în cap, m-a doborât şi mi-a dat sângele.", povesteşte acesta.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL6JBWgTLHM :bash::lol:

^^ Pissing myself laughing ... more after reading the comments :cheers:

Aoleu, si aici a ajuns filmuletu' ala?:lol:

"Aiciaaa! Buăi Gion, mă filmezi? Uaci dis beibeee!!! EAAAAAAAA!!!" *BUMP!*:sleepy:
:hilarious:applause:

kNXij6d1T6M

^^ nice
:lol: :lol:

Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDnRtM00QCo

^^ two more of that:
yLKizQoejuw xk3p1Hf_c9M

and here is another one ( very very funny ):

tppGRyf9q2M


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nQWYhgIUvE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-0SKHQXof4&feature=related

A Finnish guy enters a bar, where he meets another Finnish guy. The first gets himself a drink, and walks over to the table:

First guy: -Good evening.

30mins go by...

Other guy: - Did come here to have a drink or just talk?!



---


A Finnish lumberjack goes to Canada to work for a local land-owner.

Land-owner: -cut down 100 trees a day for your salary. Is that OK?

Lumberjack: -Sure boss, 100 it is.

Next day the land-owner visit the Finn and asks how things are going.

Lumberjack: -The thing is, boss, I only managed to cut down 92 trees. 100 is simply too much.

Land-owner: -Hmmmm, that's strange. You should be able to reach 100 just as long as you work hard. Try harder tomorrow, OK?

Next day, they again have a conversation.

Lumberjack: -Well, boss, I managed to cut down 96 trees, but I'm telling you, 100 is simply impossible.

The land-owner takes the lumberjacks chainsaw and starts it to make sure it's working properly.

Lumberjack: -What the hell is that noise?!!


:)

the page : http://uncyclopedia.org is a funny version of wikipedia
check out the articles on the balkan countries like:
Albania (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Albania)
Bosnia (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Bosnia)
Bulgaria (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Bulgaria)
Croatia (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Croatia)
Kosovo (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kosovo)
Macedonia (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Macedonia)
Romania (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Romania)
Serbia (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Serbia)

72Cjlbq7kXU

:rofl:
:rofl:

The best singer from Serbian:lol:

AnUtSQPFZJY

Is the dog insane????

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/885/image20080321262707641rww0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

The Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.


"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"


Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh, and to all the women who can handle the truth!

A chef, a chemist and a clerk in the state administration are sitting on a table arguing whose cat is the smartest.

The chef said "Gourmette, please go to the kitchen, take out some meat from the fridge, prepare us some meatballs and bring them there". The cat went into the kitchen and after half an hour serves three plates of tasty meatballs.

The chemist then said "Oh, that's nothing! Mendeleev, please go down, take out a bottle of vodka and tomate juice from my car, prepare three glasses of bloody Mary and bring them here". So the cat went down and after a couple of minutes serves three glasses of Bloody Mary.

The clerk finally said "Hm...is that all they can do? Parasite, come here! (a fat lazy cat came). Parasite, please show them what I have taught you!"

And the fat cat jumped on the table, ate all the meatballs, drank the glasses of Bloody Mary, f*cked the other 2 cats and went to sleep.

^^Le Clerk must be proud of his cat.:rofl:

^^ That's my boy - Parasite. Knows what's best in life! :lol:

SL6_Qaj7gtc&eurl

seen it ... crazy :lol:

hahhaa :) last one was freaky! :D

One from UK :)


1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2007
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish! and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )

6. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

5. Teaching Maths In 2007
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish! and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )

6. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟
Priceless!:rofl:

^^ At least the numbers are the same. :lol:

Actually they shouldn't.;)
http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/8220/397pxarabicnumeralsensveq0.png