Police ridiculed over 93 page guide to riding a bike that has cost the taxpayer thousands of pounds

[larven]

A truly astonishing and absurd waste of police time and thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money.

From the Guardian

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environmen...-boris-johnson

Police beat off criticism about 93-page manual on how to ride a bike

Most advice for learning to ride a bike boils down to: "keep peddling" and "don't let go". Both cries can be heard throughout parks in Britain as fathers and mothers grasp the saddle of their wobbling offspring.

Police, it would appear, need rather more advice. But do they really need need 93 pages worth of cycling guidance, in two volumes?

Police reading the Police Cycle Training Doctrine – apparently drawn up by a group of "well-meaning officers" at a cost of thousands of pounds – will benefit from guidance on how to brake and turn corners, as well as avoid obstacles such as kerbs. Prospective police bike-riders are sagely advised to wear padded shorts "for in-saddle comfort" and reminded to eat and drink enough. Cyclists can get thirsty after all.

The Sun claims the document was drawn up by the Association of Chief Police Officers, although the association today said the guide – which appears to display the Acpo crest on its front page – was produced independently by a group of safety conscious officers.

"This work was neither requested nor drawn up by Acpo and we do not endorse it," said a spokeswoman. "It was put forward by a group of well-meaning police officers with an interest in this area. Acpo will not be taking it forward."

The booklet also contains pictoral guides to aid the novice rider, including one diagram depicting the correct way to turn a corner, and offers instruction on how to dismount a bicycle safely. Police are advised of the need to "rear scan" — look over their shoulder — and warned not to attempt to apprehend suspects while still "engaged with the cycle".

London mayor Boris Johnson – who recently gave chase to three would-be muggers on his bicycle – today suggested too much money had been spent on the guide.

"I am sure it is of great value, I haven't seen it, but I think you can do this kind of thing much, much more cheaply," he told BBC Radio 4's Today programme. Johnson also offered some of his own advice on cycling at a busy junction – free of charge.

"Get to the front," he said. "Too many cyclists in London do not get to the front, they lurk at the back and are under the lee of lorries and buses and they are at much greater risk than if they go and assert their prerogatives and get to the front."

The mayor said he was considering the idea of allowing cyclists to turn left at red lights in an attempt to cut casualties as more people take to two wheels.

[CharlieP]

Nice to see the Guardian don't know how to spell "pedalling".

[Gherkin]

I'm useless on a bicycle and have loads of free time! bingo!

[gothicform]

i feel the booklet is sorely lacking. it fails to define bicycle, and then explain it's constituent parts starting with the wheel and a historical examination of this. i feel the FAQ on wheels needs to explain why they are not square to stop stationary bicycles running backwards down a hill. all in all, a shoddy attempt by the police to do what could have been the definitive version and is now just another poor, and lazy publication that fails to grasp the nettle having become a typical nu-lab fudge of the real issues.

[Erebus555]

[Republica]

keep peddling?

keep peddling 'their' unmistakable dose of arrogance to the nation

[larven]

Originally Posted by gothicform

i feel the booklet is sorely lacking.

Yes lol!

The only sane thing to do do when presented with something as nonsensical as this is to laugh and mock the sheer absurdity of it. Richard Littlejohn (below) has written a piece along similar lines that delves into some of the detail of this guide and parodies the wider culture the police seem to have developed under New Labour. Worth a read, even if you dislike Littlejohn and roll your eyes at the occasional politically incorrect remark.

And the nominations for 2009's Mind How You Go Awards are...

Last updated at 1:34 PM on 13th November 2009

Little over a month to go before the judges sit down with a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream and a box of hand-made liqueur chocolates to choose the winner of the prestigious Mind How You Go award.

This year's ceremony will take place in the recently refurbished Tony Stamp Memorial Custody Suite at Sun Hill nick.

Dress code is black tie and a shiny evening suit which since last year has mysteriously shrunk by two sizes while at the dry cleaners.

Guests are invited to assemble in the saloon bar of the Brownlow Arms at 11am sharp for cocktails.

From there they will be ferried to the venue in a fleet of limousines, generously supplied by former Assistant Commissioner Bob Quick.

Dinner will be at 7.30pm. The organisers regret that the traditional menu of British bangers and mash will not be available because the Muslim chef refuses to handle pork.

Instead we will be offering little legs of chicken, specially flown in from Brazil.

We are delighted to announce that the evening's cabaret will be provided by Sir Ian Blair, ex-Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, who has just found employment as a traffic warden in the Thames Valley after a brief, unsuccessful stint as an author.

Sir Ian, a previous multiple winner of the award, has kindly agreed to perform his everpopular version of I Will Survive, which topped the crime charts briefly before he was sacked.

As usual, the trophy will go to the force, individual officer or civilian employee who has done most to bring the police into disrepute during the previous 12 months.

Points are awarded for incompetence, stupidity, officiousness, brutality, celebrating diversity and wrongful arrest.

Thousands of nominees from all over Britain have been whittled down to a shortlist of several hundred. The judges' task has been made all the harder by a bumper crop of late entries submitted only this week.

Yesterday, for instance, the Association of Chief Police Officers was embarrassed into withdrawing a 93-page, two-volume pamphlet advising bobbies on how to ride a bike.

It offers important information on balancing, pedalling, braking and avoiding obstacles.

Officers are told they should not attempt to tackle a suspect while they are still 'engaged with the cycle' and always remember to 'rear scan' - what normal people call looking over their shoulder.

There is an elaborate diagram on 'deployment into a junction' - turning right or left.

They are also advised to wear padded shorts for 'in-saddle comfort' and drink 'adequate liquids' to stop them getting thirsty.

Undercover officers using bikes present a particularly difficult conundrum. The booklet agonises over whether they should be forced to wear a helmet, which could blow their cover.

It concludes: 'This lack of protection must be noted and a full risk assessment of the required role is to be undertaken.'

Even the Home Office thinks the booklet is bonkers, but it was designed to be distributed to every force in the country.

The cost has not been revealed, but it is estimated to have run to thousands of pounds.

Still, it may explain another Mind How You Go contender from earlier this year. This involved a policeman who refused to pose on a pushbike for a publicity photo because he hadn't been sent on a cycling proficiency course.

PC Tony Cobban, from Preston, said at the time: 'I was just being cautious. My concern would be if anything happens to me while on the bike and it hadn't been risk-assessed or insured.

'In this day and age, you have to cover all the bases.'

He received the full support of Lancashire Police, no doubt acting on ACPO advice.

Meanwhile, Derbyshire Constabulary has decided to abandon battering down drug dealers' doors because the cost of repairing them is too high.

Over in Lancashire, cops are handing out cards to householders to put in their windows to warn off carol singers, all now considered to be potential rapists, murderers and aggravated burglars.

Elsewhere, Greater Manchester police have submitted not one, but two entries this week.

The first involves a civilian trainer who is suing for religious discrimination. He was sacked because of his insistence that mediums should be hired to interview murder victims in the spirit world and find out who killed them.

A judge has ruled that Alan Power's belief that psychics should be brought in to help criminal investigations is as valid as any religious conviction.

He will almost certainly win, given last week's ruling that 'climate change' worship now counts as a bona fide religion.

Manchester cops are also being sent on special courses to teach them to improve their manners.

They must not swear, speak sarcastically or act 'overbearingly' when dealing with the public and criminals alike. Even the way they stand at a door could be considered rude.

Maybe that's the real reason Derbyshire is mothballing its battering rams. Smashing down someone's front door could be misinterpreted as rudeness.

Senior officers in the Manchester force have identified the drugs squad and the riot squad as the worst offenders.

One Manchester officer, who asked not to be identified, complained to the Police Review: 'We're being told that we have to be courteous to some scumbag we've nicked a hundred times. We're not Mary Poppins, for God's sake.'

So that's 'You are surrounded by armed bastards' out of the window. No more: 'Put your trousers on, chummy, you're bleedin' nicked.'

In future the heavy mob will have to ring the doorbell and inquire politely: 'So sorry to trouble you, sir, but if it's not too much trouble would you mind awfully slipping in to your strides and accompanying us to the station.'

Yet in Cambridge, police mounted a dawn raid at 5.35am to arrest a terrified 67-year-old pensioner accused of swearing at a council official. He was held in a windowless cell for six hours.

Any one of these could make the shortlist this year. With Sir Ian Blair no longer eligible to enter, the field is wide open.

For the past few years the contest has been a two-horse race between Sir Ian and the Mad Mullah of the Traffic Taliban - who has also recently stood down and, I can exclusively reveal, is to be honoured with a Lifetime Achievement Award at the end of the evening.

After the ceremony, there will be a post-awards party at Spearmint Rhino, hosted by former Detective Chief Superintendent Graham Melvin.

Carriages at 6am and on to Smithfield Market for a nightcap.

Mind How You Go.

[gothicform]

Meanwhile, Derbyshire Constabulary has decided to abandon battering down drug dealers' doors because the cost of repairing them is too high.

this is incorrect. they decided to stop battering down doors because they were destroying the doors of too many innocent people that they had to pay for.

[metro]

not being able to ride a bike is no laughing matter seeing as most police officers are of limited intelligence..

maybe scrap the book and supply the the dumber cops with trycycles so they cant fall off.

[JackSwan]

Originally Posted by metro

not being able to ride a bike is no laughing matter seeing as most police officers are of limited intelligence..

maybe scrap the book and supply the the dumber cops with trycycles so they cant fall off.

brilliant!