GLAD, MAD, or SAD....Part V

[Sou-jiro]

Originally Posted by boybaha

hmm. sad, medyo.

Allow me to use this as a place to vent off some steam to some not-so-strangers. I don't know where else to go right now since all my good friends have their own huge problems as well and I don't want them to worry about me when they have bigger stuff to worry about.

I don't know it seems like when things are crappy, things just all happen simultaneously. Anyway, a little bit of career angst. I'm kind of getting fed up with departmental politics at my uni and I'm questioning whether I really want to get into academia after spending the past 10 years of my life trying to do it. But then, what is there besides this for me? I've been so far removed from the job market that I feel I have no other marketable skills other than teaching and I just feel tired of it. I used to be a computer programmer but my technological expertise is circa 1996. And I don't really want to go back to computers anyway. I feel a need to take a break... But I feel that in any job I do, I'll be competing with the best college graduates 10 years younger than me.

And then on top of this, some personal stuff. I still really haven't gotten over my ex-gf. I guess I have but I just can't stand it when I'm watching relationships change their nature, aware of it, but not being able to do anything about it. We've been just very good friends-- best friends even since we've split up when she decided to move back to New York, and we used to call each other every night or every other night. But I feel that now, 6 months after, she's already starting to have a life and meeting new people, and I feel that she needs me a lot less now than she used to. And I'm just here, not even meeting new people (trust me SSC has nothing to do with it because I still party and still go to the bars-- I still have a social life, just not with anybody new. What happens when you hang out with a lot of lesbians is that all the new people you meet turn out to also be lesbians haha.). And with all my problems, I feel I need her as a friend more than she cares to acknowledge me because of the newness of a big city with interesting people.

Anyway, whatever.... I'm opening myself up a lot. But oh well, this is pathetic. Thanks for indulging me.

i hope things turn out well for you in 2006 i read this and i can relate to some things you said.....i remember when i was still new to these forums and i had a big problem and i let it out in these forum ( yung dating job issue ko na naka stress sakin that i ended up quiting which was so risky but i did it anyway)....actually it help me a bit....its better to let it out than let it build up diba?....Mike btw have to tried to meet new people in a different atmosphere?...u dont seem to be visiting SSC as much as you use too...

me when i feel so depressed i play my guoitar and it inspires me to to compositions...

i had a painful experience sa ex ko na kaibigan pa rin ng mga ibang ka friends ko...(i was able to write a song tapus tnugtog namin ng mga kabanda ko...taglish nga lang) ...anyway hope you feel better