The Official Medical Complaints Thread

[Megalothian]

Originally Posted by Tubeman

I used to get epic cramps in my calves back in my ravey days of the 1990's... rock-solid excruciating golf balls popping up on the back of my calf as I was in a dreamy half-asleep half-awake phase after (eventually) going to bed following a bender.

Dancing my tits off for 48 hours solid sweating profusely probably had something to do with it

I miss those days, I think most of my medical complaints around those times were cuts, bruises and burns, mostly caused by falling out of trees whilst tripping or trying to hug bonfires

[Comfortably Numb]

The fucking heat and humidity here in Florida is messing me up! I have sciatica and for some reason, the climate here seems to make it worse. When I leave and go to the UK (for example), I am not in anywhere near as much pain and discomfort as I am here.

[Æsahættr]

"Your inattentive ADHD symptoms are just a manifestation of your anger and anxiety issues"

[Nightjar]

Originally Posted by Megalothian

I miss those days, I think most of my medical complaints around those times were cuts, bruises and burns, mostly caused by falling out of trees whilst tripping or trying to hug bonfires

Or clambering out of a K-Hole.

[Tubeman]

Originally Posted by Nightjar

Or clambering out of a K-Hole.

Nah, don't fight it... Just fall in

Apparently I lay on the floor of Turnmills hugging a pillar for 5 hours solid once

Those were the days

[tuten]

I have a lump on my neck that I've just noticed has been there longer than it should have.

Is it always best to have these things checked out? It seems like such a silly thing to use up a doctors time for what is probably a gland or something.

[NorthLimitation]

Originally Posted by Tubeman

Nah, don't fight it... Just fall in

Apparently I lay on the floor of Turnmills hugging a pillar for 5 hours solid once

Those were the days

Ahhh, the K-hole - it can be such a dark and cruel place

[AndrewC]

Originally Posted by tuten

I have a lump on my neck that I've just noticed has been there longer than it should have.

Is it always best to have these things checked out? It seems like such a silly thing to use up a doctors time for what is probably a gland or something.

Lumps etc, are rarely somthing your doctor would get annoyed about you wanting to get checked out. People with sniffles, yes, but I'm pretty sure doctors would encourage you to check all lumps and bumps out.

[Rumors]

Originally Posted by tuten

I have a lump on my neck that I've just noticed has been there longer than it should have.

Is it always best to have these things checked out? It seems like such a silly thing to use up a doctors time for what is probably a gland or something.

I would get it checked.

[Erebus555]

I think I've got an ingrown toe-nail. It only started last week as a slight pain in the side of my toe, and over the weekend it's grown into feeling like my toe is broken... Is there anyway I can sort it without having to go to the doctor about it?

[The Hunted]

Originally Posted by Erebus555

I think I've got an ingrown toe-nail. It only started last week as a slight pain in the side of my toe, and over the weekend it's grown into feeling like my toe is broken... Is there anyway I can sort it without having to go to the doctor about it?

Don't be a pussy, just do it yourself.............I actually get them quite often and used to go and see a podiatrist every couple of months to sort it out, but got fed up paying for it, so just do it myself now..........although the first time can be a bit painful .

[Erebus555]

I'm going to opt to do it myself.... I've found out I've been trimming the nails all wrong so yeah... but how do I do it myself? Just find the dodgy growth and cut it off or is there some technique to it?

[alonzo-ny]

Just take the whole toe off. better safe than sorry. It might spread to vital organs.

[Erebus555]

Always thinking ahead - this is why I like you alonzo. Sound advice.

[alonzo-ny]

[The Hunted]

Originally Posted by Erebus555

I'm going to opt to do it myself.... I've found out I've been trimming the nails all wrong so yeah... but how do I do it myself? Just find the dodgy growth and cut it off or is there some technique to it?

Just use common sense.......Sterilise your toe nail clippers first, if the toe is infected soak it in some warm salty water and cut as little as possible.

[Tubeman]

Originally Posted by Erebus555

I'm going to opt to do it myself.... I've found out I've been trimming the nails all wrong so yeah... but how do I do it myself? Just find the dodgy growth and cut it off or is there some technique to it?

I've self-operated before in my youth... It fucking kills, but has to be done...

Slip the hooky pointy foldout bit of your nail clippers under the tip of your big toenail and then around to the side, trying to stay under the nail despite the agony. The aim is to prise out the ingrowing bit from the flesh. You'll find ragged toenail growing down into your toe, this is because at some point you cut around the corners in too rounded a shape so new nail grew out sideways and downwards rather than just forwards.

If you can see through all the blood and pus and successfully prise the ingrowing bit out, cut it off with nail scissors and dress the throbbing, weeping, bleeding mess that was your big toe

[Octoman]

That sounds vile!

I have a bit of a medical condition. For the last six months or so I had given up exercise in favour of sitting around on my arse eating junk. In an effort to get control of this I have entered a 10k fun run in July which I am training for.

On my first run last week I noticed a giant wobbly mass had attached itself to my abdomen and I appeard to have the start of a pair of mammaries.

Is it possible to self operate on this problem?

[clarky]

Sometimes i can here people speaking even though there is nobody around i also flinch and lash out at nothing i guess this is because of lack of sleep which ive been getting maybe im like hallucinating or something either that or im going mad.

[belfastuniguy]

Originally Posted by clarky

going mad.

Likely, then again we are all mad in some way....



Some things can not be forgotten, Tubey's delightful post about his bloody mess of a toe is one such example.