Question to Israelis

[Gzdvtz]

Nah, he likes adults.

[Turknology]

Anyway, if anyone is wondering here is what my reaction would be.

It would depend on who the person is and what his/her family background is.

A person with a good university degree, from an urban middle or above class family, not unemployed (esp. if he is to be my son in law) and who is not far below avarage looks would be more important than their being from a jewish background.

Another thing is that I would prefer them to be a Turkish Jew, but if they are going to live in Turkey it would not make a difference. If they are not going to live in Turkey I might have some objections but this is not of the utmost importance.

If he or she is from Israel he/she must already have completed his/her millitary obligation.

If he is from Turkey he must already have completed his military obligation (here girls are not conscripted that's why I only mentioned "he" in this situation).

But most of all I would have to get a vibe that they are an intelligent person of good character.

PS: I did not want to mention my stance before I got some replies so as not to influence oppinions here, but felt I had to before this turns into an irrelevent argument.

[Turknology]

Originally Posted by yerushalmi

friends is the same as marriage?
and yes thats because you havent asked in the turksih forum the same question would you marry jewish..
but a few years ago we had the question would you live next to jews and you got 70% no.. today after the
incitement im guessing its 95-100

I really dont see what youre getting it I gave you very straighforward answers both in my personal view and its the same view
that you have, Im sure. maybe youll say something else publically. when it comes to family and personal issues you react the same.
.
we have marriages to non jews and its different if its christians, phillipines, chinese, european,
much less issues over personal freedoms, religious and tradition tensions and the difficulties with marriage to muslims.

the reactions of individuals are different from each other, will you stop making generalisations.

I am asking people on a personal level.

Please can you cut it out now!

[yerushalmi]

when it comes to who your family member marries everyone acts the same you can make generalizations it doesnt matter what religion you would try to persuade them to find someone else or to think very carefully or even threats that it would shame your family..
its not only nationalist that you would want them to stay in turkey you would persuade them to marry your religion and your nationality. I think youre sounding an opinion thats not genuinly what youd say if it was your reality. it would not be how you'd actually act. or maybe you are the only one in a million that wouldnt have a problem. in most orthodox societies its not even an option or you wont see your family again.

[Turknology]

Originally Posted by yerushalmi

when it comes to who your family member marries everyone acts the same you can make generalizations it doesnt matter what religion you would try to persuade them to find someone else or to think very carefully or even threats that it would shame your family..
its not only nationalist that you would want them to stay in turkey you would persuade them to marry your religion and your nationality. I think youre sounding an opinion thats not genuinly what youd say if it was your reality. it would not be how you'd actually act. or maybe you are the only one in a million that wouldnt have a problem..

no, it is exactly how I would react.

Actually especially if it was my daughter concerned I would prefer her to marry a Jewish dude (but of course preferably seculer) than a religous muslim dude from a religous family.

But the most important thing is the person themselves (especially intelligence and good character) and their socio-economic background (which should be simmiler to mine).

PS: you do not make distinctions between people as individuals, I do.

[yerushalmi]

but your distinctions on the dial is just two - secular or religious. educated or uneducated.
we have a lot of degrees and variations of secular and of religous on this dial from totally secular to
totally orthodox. I think this concept of different degrees of religious is hard to understand for most muslims.
you can be secular and uneducated, you can be jewish orthodox and be very open to marrying a secular
or completely against. you might be open to a light-orthodox but not to another type. you might be orthodox
and want only a certain type of orthodox denomination. its much less clear cut. the same is with the dial
of marrying non jewish you can be secular and against, you can be secular and not care. it also depends
whats the other religion and how much that religion will be tolerant to another nationality or another religion.
if its religious islam or christianity I would be more negative to marriage with than lets say religious buddhist.

[yerushalmi]

Originally Posted by Turknology

But the most important thing is the person themselves (especially intelligence and good character) and their socio-economic background (which should be simmiler to mine).

Of course these things are important but not only these things.
Im secular. but if my wife would tell me when we dated listen as a complete secular I dont want our sons to have a brit, barmitzva
any jewish education and rituals and so, I would absolutely not even think of marrying her, it would be grounds to end it.

[Turknology]

Originally Posted by yerushalmi

but your distinctions on the dial is just two - secular or religious. educated or uneducated.
we have a lot of degrees and variations of secular and of religous on this dial from totally secular to
totally orthodox. I think this concept of different degrees of religious is hard to understand for most muslims.
you can be secular and uneducated, you can be jewish orthodox and be very open to marrying a secular
or completely against. you might be open to a light-orthodox but not to another type. you might be orthodox
and want only a certain type of orthodox denomination. its much less clear cut. the same is with the dial
of marrying non jewish you can be secular and against, you can be secular and not care. it also depends
whats the other religion and how much that religion will be tolerant to another nationality or another religion.
if its religious islam or christianity I would be more negative to marriage with than lets say religious buddhist.

Hmm, yes, maybe I should have made a better distinction. Maybe liberal versus conservative would be more appropriate.

But a good education is a must as well, providing that my son or daughter had a good education, otherwise it wouldn't be that important.

And to clarify religious some more, let's say that someone being strictly religiously conservative would be a put off for me as a potential son or daughter in law (esp. son in law), but as you stated what religion they are strict about would also play a factor in how much of their religiosity I could tolerate.

especially a son in law I could sit and have a drink with and could be friends with would be a plus for me.

But I would cut off relations with any son or daughter that would marry a fundamentalist.

[Turknology]

Originally Posted by yerushalmi

Of course these things are important but not only these things.
Im secular. but if my wife would tell me when we dated listen as a complete secular I dont want our sons to have a brit, barmitzva
any jewish education and rituals and so, I would absolutely not even think of marrying her, it would be grounds to end it.

That is understandable, after all, people are entitled to have certain priorities.

I have a relative (my dad's cousin) who married a German Jew, they are both secular, but he didn't oppose their son from going through various Jewish religious ceremonies, because he knew that it was important for his wife that their son not miss out on the traditions of her people despite her being a secular person.