Birmingham Transport

[Blunther]

Originally Posted by Usherling

I love catching the bus

[Bachy Soletanche]

You meet (meat) such intresting people too...

[Usherling]

And Blunt I'm not always pissed. I have my Mercy Baby that I use for personal use and Business meetings, just to go to work I use the Puplic Transport that is available

[Blunther]

I cunting hate buses.

Full of smelly fat bastards that sit next to you and breathe on your face. Cheeky swine.

And it's bloody pricey.

Still, I only have to put up with the number 9 into town now, which is regular, quick and effiecient, as oppsed to the 21, which took an hour to get into town when you got on it, and often didn't bother turning up so you were stood at a skanky bus stop in scallyville for 90 bleeding minutes.

That was a twat of a bus.

[Steve-e-b]

Originally Posted by Blunther

Full of smelly fat bastards that sit next to you and breathe on your face. Cheeky swine.

Sorry Blunth, I'll try to breath more considerately in future

I honestly like the buses. We have a mostly modern fleet now that are anything but smelly. They run frequently during the day and on time during the evenings/night (I've spent the last 7 years in Hertfordshire where buses turn up every 30mins to an hour depending how the driver feels and the services stop at 6pm, so compared to that I'm in bus heaven now!).
I admit they are a bit pricey here. My girlfriend is from London and was a bit shocked at the fares. On the plus side, though, she still can't get used to buses running on time.

Originally Posted by Blunther

Still, I only have to put up with the number 9 into town now, which is regular, quick and effiecient, as oppsed to the 21, which took an hour to get into town when you got on it.

Try the 69 from Weoley Castle to Shirley - that really is soul destroying. It doubles back on itself about 5 times and at points it is much quicker to get off and walk.

[Martin G]

Originally Posted by Blunther

I cunting hate buses.

Full of smelly fat bastards that sit next to you and breathe on your face. Cheeky swine.

And it's bloody pricey.

Still, I only have to put up with the number 9 into town now, which is regular, quick and effiecient, as oppsed to the 21, which took an hour to get into town when you got on it, and often didn't bother turning up so you were stood at a skanky bus stop in scallyville for 90 bleeding minutes.

That was a twat of a bus.

Join the club - I fucking hate travelling on buses too - they piss me off - they're worse than trains. And I hate trains at the best of times.

But without a car, what choice do I have? I can say that whenever I can, I walk everywhere - even if it is into Manchester (which I did twice last week) - a trek of some 7 miles one-way.

[pirlo_21]

too many people smoking canabis on the bus for my liking

[Bachy Soletanche]

Too many people smoking on the bus for my liking.

[Martin G]

If they could afford it (and they obviously can't but we can all dream anyway) I think every single bus should have modifications made to it in that the entire upper deck has sprinkler systems located above every seat, ditto the back seats on the lower deck where most of the delinquent scrotes always sit. These sprinklers then emit very precise and powerful jets of water once activated by cigarette smoke that only drench the deserving miscreant directly sitting below it, and no one else. That should be a good deterrent.

For even greater impact and humiliation, these same back seats on the lower deck should be electrified and wired up to a very specially concentrated 10,000 volt DC current, then, at the first signs of antisocial yobbish behaviour from these knobs, the driver then has the choice of switching on the current to instantly barbecue the fuckheads on impact or drench them into submission, or even better, carry out BOTH. They would look pretty fucking stupid then if they continue to make everyone else's journey a misery by acting like antisocial c***s. I actually suggested this to loads of drivers on my travels over the years and all of them thought it would be a fucking top idea!

[Zenith]

Birmingham Post 18/10/05

As of today a vulcan has been placed on every bus . If anyone acts antisocially he/she can do a vulcan neck pinch thingy and theyll fall asleep .The Vulcan will dress so as to blend in to the crowd.


a blaggard is dealt with on the number 33.

Spock is leading this initiative as seen today.

[Martin G]

The next step I think should be to have a Darth Vader patrolling every bus - that will give the little cocky fuckers the shits.

[Usherling]

Yeah out with the chavs and in with the Vulcans

[Tetsuro]

Well, I see the value of buses, as a part of a sustainable public transport system, BUT after having to endure the painful journey home on the number 50 every night, I think there needs to be some alternatives, and it would be soooo much quicker if they ever reinstated the railway stations at Moseley and Kings heath etc

Obviously, you are NEVER going to substitute for the convenience of a door to door car journey, but options and choice need to be made available to people, especially those who may not own a car, or even drive.

I agree with what a lot of people say about the buses, yes we have got new buses now, but they all smell, are full of chavs, covered in graffitti, strewn with fast food etc... I have travelled on buses in many cities, and I don't think I have come accross any as dirty as Birmingham's! That is not to mention the arrogant shits who think it is OK to smoke, I don't care how addicted to smoking you are, surely no bus journey (not even the 50 at rush hour... or the 69!!) is soo long to make you crave one that badly!!

I like the idea of a sprinkler system. It would be better also if they got the police to patro more buses, or maybe reinstate conductors.... not in my life time no doubt! lol

[MarcusValhalla]

Originally Posted by pirlo_21

too many people smoking canabis on the bus for my liking

And at 7 in the mornings sometimes as well. I smoke, and occasionally, have been known to smoke "herbal" cigarettes, but on the bus? And first thing in the morning? It's just wrong. I'm with Martin G. Electrocute the f**kers. Plus, too often, the top deck of the bus smells of urine. Electrify the floor. That'd stop it.

[Martin G]

Honestly, nothing - ON THIS EARTH - would provide some of us with a greater sense of satisfaction, vindication and sheer ecstatic delight than the sight of a gang of odious chavscum/ scally wankers deservedly being fried alive and convulsing violently whilst bleeding and smoking from their eyes, ears and nostrils in a scene not too dissimilar from that of late '70s psychokinesis horror-flick "The Fury" - as they all get electrocuted into oblivion and reduced to charred tracksuits, flesh and bone. I would dearly wish such a gruesome fate to be bestowed on them practically ANYWHERE the fucking cancerous shits congregate. If it were only possible!

[Engels]

Hello new poster here..

i have to contribute to this debate on transport in brum..
I've been using the buses everyday since i moved to the Hagley Rd in Edgbaston 18months ago. It's such a mixed bag. There are so many buses in and out of the city where i live that i never have to wait long but it's so slow in the rush hours to actually get in & out of town.

It's only 2miles to the city but can take over 30mins in the morning and longer to come out on a bad evening. They really NEED a bus lane. I know, i drive sometimes too they're shit if u driving. But! only so many people can move down this sort of route that car users (& trucks) will have to be marginalised for the far greater number of people on the buses. The stretch from 5ways to Gillott Rd (1.5mile) is so congested almost permantently.

OkOk it's only a small example of the wider problem (I'm not even going to start on the number of No11 buses rush hour) they have to put users of public transport 1st.. it's the only way to keep the West Midlands moving.

Problem is I would never use the bus to commute from a wider distance as it just takes too long with the congestion & frankly it's overpriced for a shite service. I'm sure many other people feel the same. More bus lanes, more buses and cheaper fares please.

sorry really need a rant after waiting for the number 11 in Perry Bar from 5.05 to 5.45 1 bus came about 5.20 and all the kids rushed it only for it to be full so half got on and those of us who didn't fancy the crush didn't even try. "buses every few minutes" my arse.. 2 came together at 5.45 (of course) but they run more buses between 10am & 4pm than in the rush hours on this route (and others) it drives me spare. AGHHHHHHHHH

They raise the prices and invest millions in the bus info displays & new buses they yet i'm often on over crowded buses. More buses in the RUSH HOUR!!!!

My last word i promise. My girlfriend is Dutch and they all cycle everywhere as do i when i'm over there. I'm seriously tempted to start doing it here but I don't fancy cycling down the Hagley Rd does anybody here do it? You can add a cycle lane to the bus lane i want for the Hagley Rd then.. hmmm that leaves half a lane left for cars ah.

[Smileyface]

Welcome to the forums Engels....good first post, hopefully if Bham as a city gets it's arse in gear on many issues your future posts will be rant free

[Biosonic]

Originally Posted by Martin G

If they could afford it (and they obviously can't but we can all dream anyway) I think every single bus should have modifications made to it in that the entire upper deck has sprinkler systems located above every seat, ditto the back seats on the lower deck where most of the delinquent scrotes always sit. These sprinklers then emit very precise and powerful jets of water once activated by cigarette smoke that only drench the deserving miscreant directly sitting below it, and no one else. That should be a good deterrent.

For even greater impact and humiliation, these same back seats on the lower deck should be electrified and wired up to a very specially concentrated 10,000 volt DC current, then, at the first signs of antisocial yobbish behaviour from these knobs, the driver then has the choice of switching on the current to instantly barbecue the fuckheads on impact or drench them into submission, or even better, carry out BOTH. They would look pretty fucking stupid then if they continue to make everyone else's journey a misery by acting like antisocial c***s. I actually suggested this to loads of drivers on my travels over the years and all of them thought it would be a fucking top idea!

Hear hear!

Originally Posted by Engels

Hello new poster here..

i have to contribute to this debate on transport in brum..
I've been using the buses everyday since i moved to the Hagley Rd in Edgbaston 18months ago. It's such a mixed bag. There are so many buses in and out of the city where i live that i never have to wait long but it's so slow in the rush hours to actually get in & out of town.

It's only 2miles to the city but can take over 30mins in the morning and longer to come out on a bad evening. They really NEED a bus lane. I know, i drive sometimes too they're shit if u driving. But! only so many people can move down this sort of route that car users (& trucks) will have to be marginalised for the far greater number of people on the buses. The stretch from 5ways to Gillott Rd (1.5mile) is so congested almost permantently.

Hi Engels (Any relation to the singer? )

Fear not! In about 15 years' time you might be able to catch the tram into the city centre from your home!

We rely on you to make vocal your support for trams down the Hagley Road!

[Bachy Soletanche]

Originally Posted by Martin G

Honestly, nothing - ON THIS EARTH - would provide some of us with a greater sense of satisfaction, vindication and sheer ecstatic delight than the sight of a gang of odious chavscum/ scally wankers deservedly being fried alive and convulsing violently whilst bleeding and smoking from their eyes, ears and nostrils in a scene not too dissimilar from that of late '70s psychokinesis horror-flick "The Fury" - as they all get electrocuted into oblivion and reduced to charred tracksuits, flesh and bone. I would dearly wish such a gruesome fate to be bestowed on them practically ANYWHERE the fucking cancerous shits congregate. If it were only possible!

It's a terrible thing to say....
.. but I'm going to say it.

It's strangely comforting to know that people who smoke on busses probably WILL die a slow and painful death at an early age.

[Biosonic]

Originally Posted by Stephen Robinson

It's a terrible thing to say....
.. but I'm going to say it.

It's strangely comforting to know that people who smoke on busses probably WILL die a slow and painful death at an early age.

It's not terrible to say that. What IS terrible is that they feel they can inflict themselves on others.

They are the kind of people that get drunk and fight, they sleep around, they don't have REAL friends (just their 'posse'), eat junk food etc etc.

So they will be riddled with STI's, some will cop it fighting, they'll get lung/heart diseases and have liver problems.

Those that live longest will have arthritic knuckles (from fighting), basic pension (well, they won't have a proper job) and live out a lonely existence till they snuff it.

It's funny how life balances itself out in the end.