The stupid news stories thread

[LanceDriver]

Slow economy may stimulate sex industry
November 20, 2008, 3:29 pm
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/...-sex-industry/

A recession next year would stimulate demand for sex toys and porn films as Australians seek cheaper pleasures, the nation's newest political party says.

The Australian Sex Party says more people will flock to adult shops, even as an economic downturn forces them to cut back on discretionary spending.

"Some adult shops are saying business has never been better," party convenor Fiona Patten said of her political base.

"Some retailers are saying when people start to worry about their finances, and they're worrying about the economy, they go and buy a vibrator or an adult film.

"While they're cutting out going to dinner and going to the movies, they're popping into an adult shop.

"We're a cheap luxury that can make you feel good."

Economists expect other sinful pursuits like gambling to remain in play as Australians search for ways to deal with a share market that has lost half its value in the past year.

CommSec chief economist Craig James said adult entertainment and gambling often survived during economic hard times, as consumers cut back on more expensive treats like overseas holidays and upscale restaurant meals.

"Even in tougher times, people ... want to enjoy themselves," he said.

"They need an area where they can be cheered up.

"It's the little luxuries people tend to gravitate to; things like gambling remain in play."

However, Australia's adult industry faces cautious consumers, with Reserve Bank of Australia data on Thursday showing credit card debt in September had posted its slowest annual growth on record.

The Australian share market has fallen by more than 50 per cent since its peak a year ago, and Westpac says the economy could dip into recession by early 2009.

With economists expecting the unemployment rate, now at 4.3 per cent, to rise sharply, Ms Patten said the federal government's proposed internet filter to block up to 10,000 unwanted sites could cost 16,000 adult industry jobs.

"If they go ahead with what they propose, we'll wipe out the adult industry in the next five years," she said.

Ms Patten, who launched the Australian Sex Party in Melbourne on Thursday, said the federal government's $4.8 billion pre- Christmas handout to pensioners was unlikely to encourage more elderly people to visit adult shops.

"Certainly, pensioners do shop for and buy adult material, that's for sure, but I'm not certain that we'll see much more of that," she said.

[Anberlin]

Originally Posted by LanceDriver

'Sex ramp' romp for former fattest man
November 19, 2008, 5:27 pm
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/5156...p-fattest-man/

Eww.

[Indictable]

Originally Posted by LanceDriver

Manuel Uribe, 43, who once weighed more than 570kg but has slimmed down to about 300kg, married Claudia Solis - a friend's widow - last month.

I wouldn't call that slimming, even thought it is a massive amount of weight

[Indictable]

Originally Posted by `dlskt

Eww.

so.. the guy has larger tits?

[LanceDriver]

^ he's got several pairs!

[CULWULLA]

him not sure if this is stupid news. but its big news
i knew wood was guilty.


GORDON Wood has sensationally been found guilty of murdering Sydney model Caroline Byrne

[LanceDriver]

^ that's a little too serious to be in the stupid thread...

[CULWULLA]

have we a serious news thread?

[Perth4life]

way to ruin the vibe Cul.

[LanceDriver]

Man releases hundreds of worms in train
November 26, 2008, 12:09 am
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/5170...s-worms-train/

A Japanese man has been arrested for releasing hundreds of beetle larvae inside a moving express train to try to scare female passengers, police say.

"I wanted to see women get scared and shake their legs," police quoted 35-year-old Manabu Mizuta as saying.

He was arrested on the spot by a patrolling police officer after releasing the creatures on the Keihan line in Osaka prefecture.

"He would go close to women on the train, any woman, and pour out the worms from containers," a police spokesman said.

Local police had been on alert after 18 similar cases of released worms had been reported this month by the same train operator.

"When the arrest was made, the man had nearly emptied a container, which is believed to have held 200 worms," he said.

"You cannot count them because there are so many."

Mizuta had 10 containers in his backpack estimated to contain a total of 3,600 worms, police said.

"We have the worms sitting inside the police station right now," the spokesman said.

"You see them wriggling inside their clear cases. It's really disgusting."

[docker]

http://www.watoday.com.au/national/n...1130-6nk2.html

Naked pair in fatal car crash
* November 29, 2008

An 18-year-old woman was driving naked when she was involved in a fatal car crash at Hastings yesterday. A male passenger, 19, also naked, was killed when the vehicle rolled about 1.30am.

The woman was seriously injured. She was flown to Royal Melbourne Hospital and was in a stable condition last night.

Police spokeswoman Senior Constable Leeanne Clinton said that while it was bizarre that the woman had been naked behind the wheel, there were no suspicious circumstances.

The names of the passenger and the driver have not been released.

[SEQ92]

Originally Posted by LanceDriver

Man releases hundreds of worms in train
November 26, 2008, 12:09 am
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/5170...s-worms-train/

A Japanese man has been arrested for releasing hundreds of beetle larvae inside a moving express train to try to scare female passengers, police say.

"I wanted to see women get scared and shake their legs," police quoted 35-year-old Manabu Mizuta as saying.

He was arrested on the spot by a patrolling police officer after releasing the creatures on the Keihan line in Osaka prefecture.

"He would go close to women on the train, any woman, and pour out the worms from containers," a police spokesman said.

Local police had been on alert after 18 similar cases of released worms had been reported this month by the same train operator.

"When the arrest was made, the man had nearly emptied a container, which is believed to have held 200 worms," he said.

"You cannot count them because there are so many."

Mizuta had 10 containers in his backpack estimated to contain a total of 3,600 worms, police said.

"We have the worms sitting inside the police station right now," the spokesman said.

"You see them wriggling inside their clear cases. It's really disgusting."

WTF????

[Burden]

lolol.

[SEQ92]

You have got to be kidding me:

Red pen too aggressive for marking, Queensland teachers told

QUEENSLAND teachers have been told they should stop marking schoolchildren's work with red pen because it is an "aggressive" colour.

Deputy Opposition Leader Mark McArdle told Parliament today that teachers were being advised to reconsider their pen choice because it may offend children.

Mr McArdle tabled a Queensland Health document proposing "strategies for addressing mental health wellbeing in any classroom".

It says: "Don't mark in a red pen (which can be seen as aggressive) - use a different colour."

However, Health Minister Stephen Robertson defended the advice, saying the directive was not enforced but rather a hint or tip for teachers.

"You only have to look at the suicide rates in Queensland to know that this is no laughing matter," Mr Robertson said.

"This is not a matter for ridicule. This is serious."

Mr McArdle said Queensland had the lowest literacy and numeracy outcomes in the country, yet the Bligh Labor Government was more worried about what colour pens teachers were using.

"This is a kooky, loony, loopy, left policy from a Labor Government that is out of touch," he said.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/s...75-952,00.html

[crazyknightsfan]

lol wut

[crawf]

This sounds like something you would hear from America, not the Smart State

Once again political correctness truly gone mad in this country.

So pathetic

[crazyknightsfan]

Although, I must say that the overuse of red pen by my primary school teachers gave my such a horrible childhood that I now tag trains to express myself

[LanceDriver]

i now drink blood because of the red pen used to mark my work!

[crazyknightsfan]

http://www.watoday.com.au/national/s...1202-6pa5.html

Storm in a C-cup - 130,000 boobs lost at sea

December 2, 2008

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.

The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities to see if they have the container, but if they don't turn up in the next 48 hours it will be too late for the next issue, she said.

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

``Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are,'' Pintado said.

``If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.''

[KJBrissy]

New York journalist 'steals' Empire State Building
By Cassie White





Audio: NYC reporter stole Empire State Building (ABC News) A New York journalist has gone to drastic measures to highlight the city's property deed fraud "phenomenon" by 'stealing' the city's most iconic landmark - the Empire State Building.

New York Daily News journalist William Sherman 'stole' the landmark skyscraper in a bid to prove there is a loophole in the city's system for registering property deeds, an act that was not discovered until he published it in the paper.

Speaking to ABC Radio National's Geraldine Doogue, Sherman said this type of fraud is a common problem and easy enough to carry out.

So common, he says, that it only took 90 minutes for the ownership deed to be considered genuine.

"The reason I literally stole the Empire State Building was to show how in this country, [there is] this phenomenon where people are drawing up fraudulent deeds on other people's properties. Once they have the deeds they can then obtain a mortgage, which is what they do - and big mortgages," he said.

"Once they get the mortgage money, they open up a bank account under the fake name and take the money out of the account and disappear.

"What I did to illustrate this is chose the biggest and most famous building around and I drew up not just a fraudulent deed, but tax returns on a limited liability corporation (LLC) I created and made myself the principle of [as well as] ... fake federal taxpayer ID numbers.

"I took the information from the real owners' deed and used that to create a new deed with myself as the principle of this limited liability corporation, so I just conveyed the property from its real owners - which is Empire State Associates to my LLC."

And to highlight the lax legality measures, Sherman listed King Kong star Fay Wray and legendary bank robber Willie Sutton as witnesses on the phoney deed - which he says went unnoticed.

"One of the most interesting things about the story is, there is no mandate in the deed recording office for them to check anything, so that's the loophole for the fraud," he said.

"They only check to see if the various fees, like the recording fee, has been filed and check to see if there's a notary stamp on the document. They don't check to see if the notary is real. For example, I just made up a fake notary stamp.

"I was in fact told that with one or two more documents that are pretty easy to make, I could have gotten a mortgage of millions of dollars on the property."

The Empire State Building has since been returned to its real owners, Empire State Land Associates, but Sherman says as a result of his controversial act, changes to the current laws have already been proposed.

"One is to barcode signatures on deeds so they cannot be forged, another is to give title companies and mortgage brokers more responsibility under the law do do more diligence in checking to see if the parties - the buyer, the seller are indeed real," he said.

"An easy way to do it is, if a transaction comes up, to just check with the seller and ask did you really just convey this property and if the person says no, then the jig is up."