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Old September 6th, 2008, 08:34 AM   #1
Yellow Fever
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Post your jokes

I think we should have a joke thread in this forum, new jokes, old jokes, it doesn't matter, just to share and have a good laugh.

Let me start first.


Restroom Chatter

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?' I am not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'doing just fine.' And the other guy says: 'So what are you up to? What kind of question is that? At that point, I am thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I am like you, just traveling.' At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?' Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, 'No..... I am a little busy right now!' Then I hear the guy say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There is an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.'
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Old September 6th, 2008, 02:59 PM   #2
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hehe! That was funny!
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Old September 6th, 2008, 09:20 PM   #3
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Farm

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
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Old September 7th, 2008, 04:11 AM   #4
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The Sex Of A Fly


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

'What are you doing?' She asked.

'Hunting Flies'. He responded.

'Oh, killing any?' She asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 females.' he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'

He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.'
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Old September 7th, 2008, 06:52 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oaronuviss View Post
Farm

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
LOL
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Old September 7th, 2008, 08:10 AM   #6
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I'm lovin' these cornball jokes!
I don't think I know any clean jokes....
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Old September 7th, 2008, 12:20 PM   #7
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Old September 7th, 2008, 12:22 PM   #8
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What do you call a black guy who flies planes?




A pilot you racist bastard.
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Old September 7th, 2008, 03:59 PM   #9
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Ok, let's start again. I think everyone here has a grasp of what the term "joke" commonly
means. Maybe we could start again and think a little harder...
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Old September 7th, 2008, 04:03 PM   #10
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Hey Guys. There's a good cartoon joke from the news paper about Dion, I'll scan it and post it later.
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Old September 7th, 2008, 04:32 PM   #11
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Hot office girl

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.. but she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you....The girl looked at him, and then said,'NO!'
Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend...so she called him and explained the situation.
Her boy friend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal.
Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.....? Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
'The bastard had all quarters!'
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Old September 7th, 2008, 07:07 PM   #12
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post your jokes? well its not just mine, it belongs to all of us!




Ha ha ha . sorry.
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Old September 7th, 2008, 09:10 PM   #13
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image hosted on flickr
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Old September 8th, 2008, 06:48 AM   #14
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Irish Blonde In A Casino


An attractive blonde from Cork arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice,at the casino.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!' She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know, I thought you were watching.'




MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are stupid, not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
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Old September 8th, 2008, 07:02 AM   #15
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hehehe.. ain't that the troooth?
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Old September 9th, 2008, 04:48 AM   #16
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oh common TB, if an Irish Blonde girl strips from neck down, would u really get distracted TB ??? Half of us on this forum wont
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Old September 9th, 2008, 06:20 AM   #17
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Colin Farrel is Irish and kind of blond! That would definitely capture my attention!

men might be interested in different things, but they are still pretty much all the same
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Old September 9th, 2008, 08:13 AM   #18
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You deleted my joke.
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Old September 9th, 2008, 02:45 PM   #19
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these are really funny.

hope you guys post some more SFW jokes by 2moro lunchtime
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Old September 9th, 2008, 03:25 PM   #20
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Quote:
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You deleted my joke.
No, I deleted the photo of Stephen Harper. You can come up with something better than that, vid. You're a funny guy!
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