[Elizabeth Kinoke]

My head is like a big balloon,

It fills with thoughts and then the room!

http://www.balloonhq.com/

 

[Elizabeth Kinoke]

Muzzy izzet ate a biscuit whilst surfing a treacle tide,

he fell a sunder into thunder at whence he calmly died!

http://www.celebrity-link.com/c139/showcelebrity_categoryid-13977.html

 

[morestoreysplease]

There once was a girl from Pinner

 

[flying tackle]

there once was a very old thread,
and everyone thaught it was dead
then one sunny day
in the middle of may
for the first time in three years it was read!

 

[Engels]

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who crossed the sea in a bucket,
And when she got there
They asked for a fare
So she pulled up her dress and said "F**K IT"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_once_was_a_man_from_Nantucket

 

[GrAfiK_248]

^^ thats a good one :lol:

 

[Engels]

Sorry i should have added a link as it's a famous genre:

now edited but for those too lazy to look back 2 posts:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_once_was_a_man_from_Nantucket

 

[NeilM]

I always remember the start of an unfinished limerick in Star Trek TNG by Data:

There was a women from Venus
Whose body was shaped like a...

Always wondered what the rest of it could of been.

 

[Bachy Soletanche]

There once was a woman of Neath
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It's wasn't for the money,
the fame or the glory
but to get at the cheese underneath

 

[NeilM]

uke:

 

[Smileyface]

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
And every time the lamb got loose
Her dog would try to............eat it :?

 

[Steve-e-b]

there once was a very old thread,
and everyone thaught it was dead
then one sunny day
in the middle of may
for the first time in three years it was read!

I like that limerick a lot
Did you make it up on the spot?
If so, I'm impressed
The words, they have zest
Though the quality of spelling ain't hot

 

[Erebus555]

I like that limerick a lot
Did you make it up on the spot?
If so, I'm impressed
The words, they have zest
Though the quality of spelling ain't hot

I don't think slang is appropriate here,
Even if it makes the rhythm more clear,
Because it pollutes British English,
And the quality will diminish,
And 'ain't' will become common to the ear.

Now I'm onto my second verse,
To build upon what I said in the first.
Because, it'll only take a jiffy
Before English becomes iffy,
And we start saying worser instead of worst!

And I have to carry this into a third,
Because there's more you still haven't heard!
So as you are most definitely aware,
Our language has a certain flare,
But only when we use the original word.

And now we're here on the last,
As I tell you "you shall speak what we cast!"
But our language will never be pure,
And will never be like before,
So I guess I'm just living in the past!


Poetry on cider, biatch!

 

[flying tackle]

thanks steve! but erebus...that was something else...very very good.
i seem to have set a trend for limericks lol..they dont all have to be limericks haha





ahh **** it heres another....

there once was an old man from china
who wasnt the greatest rock climber
he slipped on a rock,
and chopped off his ****,
and now he has got a ******

 

[Mercurius]

There was forumer called mercurius
He's about to go and get serious
I'll be game, switching lanes
Say my name, spit out your brains
I'm being clear, you have to fear
Don't compare your lower tier
Nobody mess or get your teeth bust
You dont believe me, hear me, trust.

 

[Erebus555]

Brap brap pow! I'm the elephant in da room,
I'll make ya girl wifey but I won't be da groom.
Test me n I'll test you too,
Think ya big in da hood,
Well consider this a coup.
I rep north and south through and through,
And I'll defend ma endz until I'm blue.
I'm a virus in ya system like da flu,
And if ya try to eradicate me then I'll superman yoooooooooooou.

Yeh blud!


Merc started it... :shifty:

 

[flying tackle]

are you black?

 

[Erebus555]

Errrr no but you do see other ethnicities rapping. Although, I do have some Jamaican ancestry in me. And it was all a bit of fun, after all.

 

[Steve-e-b]

Sorry Erebus. "ain't" should really be reserved for the London (cockney) poetry thread.
I'll be sure to eradicate such vile slang in future.

 

[Steve-e-b]

To be boring for a moment, here's a link to a site I found a couple of years ago: Birmingham Poetry Online.
Be warned: it's about as far from rude limericks as you're likely to get.