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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Divorce: Why the big breakup in China?By Jaime FlorCruz, CNN Beijing Bureau Chief
October 21, 2010 -- Updated 2002 GMT (0402 HKT)
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/10/21/florcruz.china.divorce/index.html
"Jaime's China" is a weekly column about Chinese society and politics. Jaime FlorCruz has lived and worked in China since 1971. He studied Chinese history at Peking University (1977-81) and served as TIME Magazine's Beijing correspondent and bureau chief (1982-2000).

Beijing, China (CNN) -- There was hardly any confusion about marriage and family life in old China. Traditional Chinese culture frowned on divorce. An ancient proverb admonishes newlyweds: "You are married until your hair turns white."

In practice, of course, men played a more dominant role in Chinese families and got away with most things, including marital dalliances. It was shameful for women to marry more than once while it was easy for men to take one or more concubines.

But the times are changing in modern China. The economic miracle that followed the country's opening to the outside world after 1979 has dramatically changed social mores --- and getting divorced no longer carries the social stigma it once did.

In today's China, some 4,500 couples split up every day. More than 2.46 million couples divorced in the country last year -- nearly twice the number in 2001.

See more of CNN's special coverage of China

"The rise in divorce rate is expected because China over the years has been going through drastic social and economic changes," said Xu Haoyuan, a U.S.-trained psychiatrist who offers marital counseling on a Beijing radio hotline. "Views on sex and marriage have swung from one extreme to another -- from the extremely puritanical to the free-wheeling."

So, why are couples in China splitting up? Experts have many explanations, but a key reason was the revision in 2003 of the marriage registration regulation, making it easier to divorce.

Before the change, couples seeking a divorce were required to get letters from their work units or neighborhood committees that explained and endorsed their reasons for breaking up.

Those who did not want to be subjected to lectures, gossips and shame opted to stay miserably married. Under the new rules, if couples are not fighting over property rights or child custody, they can get their divorce in minutes.

Other reasons for the spike in divorce: increased social mobility, especially the relaxation of the "hukou," or household registration system, that has accelerated internal migration; the one-child policy, some negative effects of rapid economic growth on peoples' values, and the dramatic change in the status of women.

Ideologues blame it on fickleness that comes from social-climbing, gold-digging, unsatisfied sexual or romantic desire. Still others attribute it to indiscriminate adoption of Western values and "bourgeois ideas" of materialism and egotism.

Not surprisingly, marriage counselors find that a common cause of Chinese divorces is marital infidelity, euphemistically referred to as "di san zhe," or "a third party."

"Extra marital relations are quite common nowadays," said the psychiatrist Xu. "Almost every couple who call in say they have extramarital relations. People are confused about what is right and what is wrong."

For four years, one of my friends had carried on a long-distance marriage with his wife. He worked in Beijing as a producer of movies and TV programs, while his wife chose to stay in her native Shanghai, where she worked as a white-collar employee in a trading company.

Not long ago, my friend found a girlfriend -- a young Beijing native. When his wife learned about it, she demanded a divorce. They parted ways amicably.

In some regions in China, the reasons for divorce have nothing to do with the romantic relationship: some people, wanting to take advantage of government programs, have entered into fake divorces.

For example, many property-hungry couples in Shanghai were found forging divorce documents in early October in order to circumvent a new government regulation. To curb speculation and cool the red-hot Shanghai property market, the local government recently issued new rules limiting families to buying one additional home per family. By faking divorce, couples hoped to buy as many as four homes instead of two, according to the Chongqing Business Newspaper.

In the past, marriage in China was mainly an economic arrangement where women were dependent on husbands and relegated to the role of breeder and nurturer.

Chinese women are now achieving higher economic and social status. These changes transform marriage into a mutually satisfying partnership.

Many Chinese now put a premium on love, mutual affection, compatibility and sexual equality.

All things considered, I see rising divorce rates in China in a positive light.
 

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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
How to post a comment on a cnn news?
Is it only a certain people have this right
 
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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Divorce = Modern, educated, smart
it is only for rich people, but for poor people:
lots of women become sex workers after divorce
so sex workers=Modern, educated, smart ?
for most chinese, divorce= sex workers ,HIV
 

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it is only for rich people, but for poor people:
lots of women become sex workers after divorce
so sex workers=Modern, educated, smart ?
for most chinese, divorce= sex workers ,HIV
That's a very sad news.

I heard there are a lot of sex workers in China.

Do you think most of our culture and value are gone because of communism and cultural revolution?
 

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Margela Schurkel
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That's a very sad news.

I heard there are a lot of sex workers in China.

Do you think most of our culture and value are gone because of communism and cultural revolution?
Communism destroys culture and value all over the world, regardless which nation they get under control.
 

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it is only for rich people, but for poor people:
lots of women become sex workers after divorce
so sex workers=Modern, educated, smart ?
for most chinese, divorce= sex workers ,HIV
i don't think this is true at all. can you give me any source, or specify in what region you believe this is happening?

and your post lacks basic logic.
 

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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
That's a very sad news.

I heard there are a lot of sex workers in China.

Do you think most of our culture and value are gone because of communism and cultural revolution?
as sex workers, is it a happiness or pain, or just no feeling?

anyway, too much sex workers in China, And they do not worry about HIV
 

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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
i don't think this is true at all. can you give me any source, or specify in what region you believe this is happening?

and your post lacks basic logic.
sex workers every where in china , If they are unmarried, it is more tragic.

may be you mean divorce is not root cause but just direct cause
 

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sex workers every where in china , If they are unmarried, it is more tragic.

may be you mean divorce is not root cause but just direct cause
not even 'direct cause', since as far as I know there is no causal link between marital status and prostitution in China.

divorce is a natural choice when the relation goes bad, which is a liberation for both sides. it has nothing to do with moral principles, and definitely not with prostitution or STDs.
 

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^^ +1. yes I don't think there's a direct link between the two issues. Prostitution is very common in China but it's baseless to say "lots of poor women become sex workers after divorce".

As a matter of fact more economists see divorce as a rational phenomena. Per famous book "Super Freakonomists", the decrease of American's divorce rate in last few decades actually caused social problems.
 

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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
so where the divorced woman gone? and where the Prostitutes from?
 

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^^ divorced people are just regular people, most of them get remarried, some prefer being single (mostly for the sake of kids).

I heard of one young couple, both come from divorced families (this is not rare). They had 8 'parents' showing up on their wedding. This is quite rare, since under such circumstance mostly only biological parents or parents with whom the couple are living together are invited to the wedding.
 

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Legend
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Surely you don't have to be divorced to be a prostitute? Chances are most prostitutes never got married in the first place.

As for divorced women - maybe they stay single or remarry? Just a thought ...
what you said is high grade prostitute,they work in big city 's best hotel like Taj Mahal in Mumbai

i mean the common prositutes ,they work every where in china,

you know china have lots of powerful people, need lots courtesans and girls

lots girls prefer get married first, so ........
 

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Hi, when talking about divorces and sex life of chines people, maybe I have some questions for you, regarding "sex revolution" in china. Would you tell me please:

How much percent of marriages ends divorced in chines countryside and cities?(approximately)
How much percent of Chinese people begins with sex in wedding night?

In US/EU it´s about 45% in case of question 1 and 1% in case of question 2, but how does it work in China?
 

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Speechless.♥;108826278 said:
How much percent of Chinese people begins with sex in wedding night?

In US/EU it´s about 45% in case of question 1 and 1% in case of question 2, but how does it work in China?
I would say most Chinese wait for sex after marriage.
 

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pooh bear
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Maybe for the country as a whole cuz of all the nongmin but even in lower-tier cities there's no possible way that's true. Have you had sex with your gf?
 

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Maybe for the country as a whole cuz of all the nongmin but even in lower-tier cities there's no possible way that's true. Have you had sex with your gf?
No, I haven't. She wants to keep her virginity until marriage. She says all her friends are the same. She says a girl must respect her body. I respect her decision.
 
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