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Wedding next year ,help with planning, advice !

2814 Views 76 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  samaruf, 
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Hi everyone..I may get married next year :p my relatives are already looking for the perfect match,so I am not too bothered about that part :lol:

But my concern is somewhere else....I want my wedding to be stunning and really memorable but the problem is I also have a budget in mind which will be hard to exceed for a middle class guy like me :D I have done a bit research here and there about the basic requirements but everything seems to be so expensive these days. The things I am looking for in my wedding are listed below

1.Wedding video,photographs by some professional photographer and if possible add in a pre wedding shoot/video as well :p I know two of the best people who does this in Bangladesh. Prito and Apurbo but both seems to be really expensive as they charge per day/per hour. In addition the event will be in Feni and not in Dhaka for which they charge extra 50k I think:nuts:..so is there anyone else out there who is reasonable enough but have same or similar hands on a camera?

2. Wedding planners/event management : I really don't know who is the best in this field. I have come across some of the company's website/FB page but its hard to decide. Both Holud/Reception will be at my house or a open field. So a cool stage along /gate with well lighted and well decorated tents, marquee is very essential. Of course it should also include other things like seating arrangements, music system etc

3.Food : I don't like the traditional way food is served in Bangladeshi weddings. I like the buffet way. Guest will choose their food/drinks from the options offered like how we do in restaurants. So again I am confused as to how it can be done? Does the wedding planners help with it or should I contact a restaurant when time comes?

4. Entertainment: Some wedding planners can also arrange a desi/videsi singer to sing at your wedding but my common sense says it will be quite an expensive affair . So what are the other options? I am thinking of Hiring a amateur DJ and dance along with the relatives, or hire a not so famous singers from the reality shows as they will be very reasonable.
I also want fire crackers at the end :lol:

5. Miscellaneous ; Where can I find a place which makes tailor made/fitting sherwani and or other wedding costumes? We dont own a car in Bangladesh so can one rent a luxury vehicle like merc bmw, or a clasic open top for a day to show off ?:D, is it possible to arrange a horse cart if not the expensive cars .If not, I will go with the more common premio/allion and decorate it nicely. What could be a good gift for the guest with of course minimal amount of $$? :D Anythings I am missing?

So I am requesting everyone reading this to advice me on these and more, what I should know, consider for the event as this is my first time :lol:


waiting for your valuable replies.

Thanks.
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Naz_toronto said:
Hi everyone..I may get married next year :p my relatives are already looking for the perfect match,so I am not too bothered about that part :lol:

But my concern is somewhere else....I want my wedding to be stunning and really memorable but the problem is I also have a budget in mind which will be hard to exceed for a middle class guy like me :D I have done a bit research here and there about the basic requirements but everything seems to be so expensive these days. The things I am looking for in my wedding are listed below
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Doesn't the bride/bride's family have any say so on the planning? Or is it the reception (walima) given by the groom/groom's family that you are concerned about?

You're content to leave the choice of your mate up to others? :hmm:

My thoughts on your issues/questions:

Photography: I believe it is quite subjective and so is there really such a thing (person/organization) as the best? You/your family/friends in Dhaka/Feni should ask around for event photographers/videographers who are freelancers and not yet earned a reputation for which they can name their price. As there are so many TV channels and TV drama (serials) production companies, there are many who work in those companies as photographers and moonlight as event photographers. I have a couple of friends in the business whom I could ask for reference, if you like.

Banquet: AFAIK, it is really up to you as to how you set the dinner to be set up i.e. whether a buffet style or a sit down dinner served by waiters. I've been to wedding receptions in Dhaka where some had traditional sit down dinners while others had buffet style.
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brah all of those depend on how much you are willing to spend!
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Thanks a lot for your reply bhaiya.

TIslam said:
Doesn't the bride/bride's family have any say so on the planning? Or is it the reception (walima) given by the groom/groom's family that you are concerned about?

Yes , you'r absolutely right. I am only concerned about our holud and reception program. May be both the holud program will be together and in the same night. I do not know yet of the brides part as she is still non existent :lol:

You're content to leave the choice of your mate up to others? :hmm:

Bhaiya I am really bizi here in Kuwait :( and there may be lots of Bangladeshis here but the number of families are very few and to find a perfect girl will be next to impossible :( So, my relatives are on the look, if I like the pictures and if she likes mine., I will go Bd to meet her in person and take it further.Typical I know but I do not have any choice as I dont have a Girlfriend nor am I a very romantic person.

My thoughts on your issues/questions:

Photography: I believe it is quite subjective and so is there really such a thing (person/organization) as the best? You/your family/friends in Dhaka/Feni should ask around for event photographers/videographers who are freelancers and not yet earned a reputation for which they can name their price. As there are so many TV channels and TV drama (serials) production companies, there are many who work in those companies as photographers and moonlight as event photographers. I have a couple of friends in the business whom I could ask for reference, if you like.

That would be great

Banquet: AFAIK, it is really up to you as to how you set the dinner to be set up i.e. whether a buffet style or a sit down dinner served by waiters. I've been to wedding receptions in Dhaka where some had traditional sit down dinners while others had buffet style.
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dopekhor said:
brah all of those depend on how much you are willing to spend!
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say 15 lakhs. Will it be enough you think? My extended family isn't that big...so not too much money on food/gifts.
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Naz_toronto said:
say 15 lakhs. Will it be enough you think? My extended family isn't that big...so not too much money on food/gifts.
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In Bangladesh, venue costs are skyrocketing, then you have costs for the event management company they charge in the lakhs, thereafter you have catering which again depends on what items you want to have on the menu, which baburchi you are getting.

These are all based on conversations with friends who got married in the last few years. But me personally I am against all these extravaganza, I'd rather go to the masjid get a Molvi and get it done with in 10 mins. Instead of spending crore or several on a week long event I'd just give that money for mahr.
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^^ lol bro my family want it to be memorable one...as I am the eldest son. Other than that I dont want it so grand, nor can I afford it..but nice and well organised within that limit

my calculations : Photo+video: 1.5 lakhs
Event managemt :2 lakh
Catering : 2 Lakh
Entertainment :50 thousand
Miscellaneous : clothes,gifts and other items 5 lakhs
Gold :5-10 lakhs
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Naz_toronto said:
^^ lol bro my family want it to be memorable one...as I am the eldest son. Other than that I dont want it so grand, nor can I afford it..but nice and well organised within that limit

my calculations : Photo+video: 1.5 lakhs
Event managemt :2 lakh
Catering : 2 Lakh
Entertainment :50 thousand
Miscellaneous : clothes,gifts and other items 5 lakhs
Gold :5-10 lakhs
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InshAllah! How much have you set for mahr that is the most important aspect. Dude I feel you there, thankfully my parents ever bring the topic of marriage up nor try to impose any ideas for me. I am the only son and I have only one other sibling.
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dopekhor said:
InshAllah! How much have you set for mahr that is the most important aspect. Dude I feel you there, thankfully my parents ever bring the topic of marriage up nor try to impose any ideas for me. I am the only son and I have only one other sibling.
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Thank you for the wishes and support I have no ides about the mahr yet.think it will be a mutual decision, on my parents>they aren't pushy at all..they just want it to be a little better than the everyday wedding ceremony in Feni. In Dhaka these all are becoming a standard now a days as you know. Regarding the girl too, if I would have a girlfriend , I am sure they wouldn't disapprove without any strong reasons as both of them are well educated and are very friendly social in nature.But its my bad luck that I have to work in a country where you will find very few deshi girls :(
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Naz_toronto said:
Thanks a lot for your reply bhaiya.
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Let me contact my friends. If they have any leads, I'll pass them on to you.

Happy hunting (for the bride)! :lol: :cheers:
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Naz_toronto said:
Thank you for the wishes and support I have no ides about the mahr yet.think it will be a mutual decision, on my parents>they aren't pushy at all..they just want it to be a little better than the everyday wedding ceremony in Feni. In Dhaka these all are becoming a standard now a days as you know. Regarding the girl too, if I would have a girlfriend , I am sure they wouldn't disapprove without any strong reasons as both of them are well educated and are very friendly social in nature.But its my bad luck that I have to work in a country where you will find very few deshi girls :(
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Brah you serious? Desi girls are everywhere here in tdot. My parents vehemently oppose such ideas, I came to Canada with a girl during that time my dad hardly talked to me and my mom used to tell me duwa kori jete o tomake chere chole jai.

If you are looking at Feni, I am sure the costs would come down drastically but I guess you have to pay the photographers extra for the travel expenses and blah blah!

But I hope you find your other half. :)
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lol bro forgot to say you that I live in Kuwait right now and working here..I was in Toronto for my further education from 2009-2012 and hence this user name :D....my parents are not that lenient but not that strict also..like say if I really liked someone, I am sure they would respect and value that as opposed to saying no right away without knowing her. On the other hand if I were to marry a girl without their knowledge and then approach them for their blessings, they would not only stop talking to me but would kati kati me into choto choto pieces :D

Ya we have empty space in front of our house in feni where we could arrange the events. I hate those typical ugly community centers in feni,instead my house will be better I think...in Dhaka u have a lot of option like hotels,restaurants,convention centers etc...but again if the number of the guest is too much, I guess we have to arrange it in those centers in Feni.

Ya finding the right girl is really hard these days in case of arranged marriage. Looks,education,family background,wealth so many things to consider...!!
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Naz_toronto said:
lol bro forgot to say you that I live in Kuwait right now and working here..I was in Toronto for my further education from 2009-2012 and hence this user name :D....my parents are not that lenient but not that strict also..like say if I really liked someone, I am sure they would respect and value that as opposed to saying no right away without knowing her. On the other hand if I were to marry a girl without their knowledge and then approach them for their blessings, they would not only stop talking to me but would kati kati me into choto choto pieces :D

Ya we have empty space in front of our house in feni where we could arrange the events. I hate those typical ugly community centers in feni,instead my house will be better I think...in Dhaka u have a lot of option like hotels,restaurants,convention centers etc...but again if the number of the guest is too much, I guess we have to arrange it in those centers in Feni.

Ya finding the right girl is really hard these days in case of arranged marriage. Looks,education,family background,wealth so many things to consider...!!
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does it have to be a desi, whats wrong with the Habitis? :p
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^^ bhujlam na question ta......jotothuk bhujsi..yes she has to khati bangladeshi ...same dhormer..firangi hole tho bashai jaiga ei pamu na :D
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samaruf
^^Naz, all the families with eligible daughters left Kuwait when I left in 1991 :lol:
Many of them actually ended up in Toronto, so there was a chance for you to fancy one of them while you were studying.

As for mahr, from my observation, the minimum seems to be 8-10 lakh Taka for middle class families with Middle East or US background. Rich folks in Dhaka will seek and pay tens of lakhs but that's just a "lok dekhano" stunt and not in the spirit of the religious injunction.

Gold prices have come down quite a bit from their highs and you will save money by buying from "Souq Al Watiya" or the Gold Market in Kuwait City instead of anywhere in Bangladesh.

Even though I like Feni, it is still a "mofoshshol" town, so you are better off getting wedding supplies including a rental car from Dhaka or even Chittagong which is closer.

Buffet style dining is going to be a very bad idea from my experience. If you are going to have village relatives or even town folks who can't help themselves, a lot of food will go to waste as these people will pile up their plates sky high and then trash most of it :eek:hno: Best case would be to get some reputable baburchi to cook the food and also administer the waiters. Have some relative watch over them too as some of these guys will steal the chicken roasts as it happened during my wedding.

I hope you have cousins, uncles etc who will do all the stuff on your behalf as it will be too much for you to manage and also keep sane.

Finally, I'd say, Tawakkul Alal Allah, and InSha'Allah may you find the most suitable bride to spend the rest of your life with.
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dopekhor said:
does it have to be a desi, whats wrong with the Habitis? :p
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What you meant to say was "Habibti" or my beloved(female). To fetch a Kuwaiti girl, he would have to be a slave the rest of his life as Kuwaiti women of today are a pampered lot and expect the same from the husband.

A tidbit: in the 80's or early 90's, a Kuwaiti lady from the royal family eloped with her Bangladeshi driver and settled in his village in Feni district. Her family offered him millions and even got the GoB involved but she would not leave him and said she loved her husband and the rural life in Bangladesh. Talk about real love!
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Naz_toronto said:
^^ bhujlam na question ta......jotothuk bhujsi..yes she has to khati bangladeshi ...same dhormer..firangi hole tho bashai jaiga ei pamu na :D
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I meant habibti!

I knew it was a term to describe an arab girl like pinay is used for Filipino girls. I guess we all have to face one sort of requirements my mom tells me as long as the girl is sunni Muslim who will bring her wadu water she doesn't care.
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samaruf said:
What you meant to say was "Habibti" or my beloved(female). To fetch a Kuwaiti girl, he would have to be a slave the rest of his life as Kuwaiti women of today are a pampered lot and expect the same from the husband.

A tidbit: in the 80's or early 90's, a Kuwaiti lady from the royal family eloped with her Bangladeshi driver and settled in his village in Feni district. Her family offered him millions and even got the GoB involved but she would not leave him and said she loved her husband and the rural life in Bangladesh. Talk about real love!
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Any update to that story, since it was in the 90s? I just can't picture someone willingly sacrificing the conveniences of everyday life to live in a village, a Bangladesh village no less, for the sake of her beloved. Yes, indeed that is LOVE. My hats off to that lady.
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samaruf said:
What you meant to say was "Habibti" or my beloved(female). To fetch a Kuwaiti girl, he would have to be a slave the rest of his life as Kuwaiti women of today are a pampered lot and expect the same from the husband.

A tidbit: in the 80's or early 90's, a Kuwaiti lady from the royal family eloped with her Bangladeshi driver and settled in his village in Feni district. Her family offered him millions and even got the GoB involved but she would not leave him and said she loved her husband and the rural life in Bangladesh. Talk about real love!
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Yes I meant that Habibti!

Bengali girls are no different, wedding nowadays cost a fortune, don't forget the exotic honeymoon and the designer gifts. Fek those designer Indian bridal wears I hear cost a hell lotta money, a year two ago a distant relative got married and word was that her dress was around the 10,000-12,000 USD mark.

If I wasn't a muslim I wouldn't even think twice about about getting a nikkah.
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samaruf
TIslam said:
Any update to that story, since it was in the 90s? I just can't picture someone willingly sacrificing the conveniences of everyday life to live in a village, a Bangladesh village no less, for the sake of her beloved. Yes, indeed that is LOVE. My hats off to that lady.
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One update I got from my cousins about 10-12 years ago was that the girl's family reconciled with her choice and also a prominent cleric in Kuwait said that since the husband was Muslim, there should not be any pressure to have her divorce him. The Kuwaitis provided him with funds to rebuild his house and also got him a job at a Kuwait funded project in Feni/Noakhali area.
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