Province at a canter
[David Moseley] I asked my colleague at work yesterday what he’d prefer, a Province win over the Sharks in the Currie Cup final or the Boks walking away with the Grand Slam after a month in the United Kingdom. The fool opted for a successful Springbok tour. He’s got no sense of priority, and quite clearly not the diehard Province fan he says he is.
I hope the Boks do well (I’ll take a win against Ireland) but nothing quite says na-na-na na-na-nah like a Currie Cup trophy sitting in your team’s display cabinet. I’d even take a Currie Cup over a Super Rugby title because, with or without the Springboks playing, it’s still the best domestic tournament around. So without further adieu, five reasons why Province will take the title this weekend:
1. Province are awesome
While not entirely scientific, it has been shown that sides that are awesome are more prone to winning titles. While Province have been effective in the Currie Cup in the last few years, they have failed to reach adequate levels of awesome. They started to head this way during the 2010 Super 14, but never quite reached maximum awesomeness. With Schalk Burger, a rested and restored Bryan Habana, World’s Best Wing Ever Gio Aplon and Jean de Villiers forming the core of the Province charge, Awesomeness Overload is imminent. However, one must admit that Pat Lambie is pretty damn awesome too, so his awesomeness could negate any outstanding Province awesomeness on the day. Which will be acceptable, because then he can play for the Boks and we’ll finally have a flyhalf who can do more than quick.
2. Heavens above
Failing awesomeness, it’s also been shown that teams who point to the sky when scoring a try, or declare their undying love for the heavenly father, have direct access to major trophies (see Bulls: 2002-2004, 2009 Currie Cup and 2007, 2009 and 2010 Super 14 – very good, not quite awesome, but an excess of sky pointing and lord thanking = tournament success). Province have at least two sky pointers on the wings (one a former Bull whom the good Lord should be well acquainted with), already cementing one hand on the trophy. As far as I can tell, not many of the Sharks look to the heavens for thanks when scoring a try, preferring rather to ridiculously thank their teammates for setting up the scoring opportunity. Amateurs.
3. Province game plan
While the Sharks game plan of “blah blah blah get the ball to Pat Lambie” has been productive this year, the Province strategy of “blah blah blah get the ball to Gio” is far superior. You can tell that Allister Coetzee and Robbie Fleck have worked on this for months, possibly with years of planning, whereas John Plumtree has merely stumbled upon an exceptional talent for the rest of his team to play off.
4. Province fans are nicer...
… and so really deserve a Currie Cup trophy. People in Durban say they like rugby, but they don’t really. The much-fabled “Shark Tank” has been home to empty seats all season, with the final being the only game close to sell-out purely because Province are playing. This in a season when Newlands had a near full-house for a Bulls-Province match without any Springboks taking part, and where Newlands would have been sold out every weekend if only there weren’t so many cool things to do in Cape Town every weekend. There’s nothing to do in Durban, so come on Sharks fans, what’s your excuse?
5. Better Imports
The Sharks are the new Manchester City who are the old Chelsea. Half their squad wouldn’t be able to point out KwaZulu-Natal on a map, and this is before Meyer Bosman, Jacques-Louis Potgieter and Helgard Muller arrive next year to shore up the midfield. At least Province only swipe their players from the Cape region (Bloem is close to Kimberley which is part of the Northern Cape which forms part of the Cape region, so the likes of Duane Vermeulen and Willem de Waal are practically home grown). Proooooooooovince by 10.